xtravagantworshipper

More Than Words

I love writing. Shall I state this on record again? Okay, I love writing.

I write to express my emotions, to share personal experiences, to show-off sometimes perhaps, or just to pen a page of my life as a record.

It’s been a while since I last blogged. And what I’m going to talk about probably has nothing with how I started this entry.

I was just flipping through the pages of this month's NTU Alumni newsletter, that gets sent to my mailbox. Saw a couple of my university school mates being featured. Apparently, they had won some prize for their project in some Festival of the Arts in the United States. *gasps*

Yes, another of my school mates is now an accomplished host and regular DJ on one of Singapore’s most popular Chinese radio stations. And she even got to host Project Superstar.

Another senior just won the Straits Times Young Journalist of the Year Award, and he was also being featured in the newsletter.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not dying to get my face printed on some publication or newspaper. I guess it’s just one of those inevitable stuff you do – you make comparisons, you like to know how your peers are doing compared to yourself.

Of course, there are also school mates who remained bums; but most, I suspect, are leading a pretty decent life. I guess my point is, perhaps, I have always dreamt about doing big stuff, not so much fame and fortune stuff. But just big stuff.

I have always wanted to become a war reporter, or those reporters that get sent abroad to cover the Asian Tsunami or the Hurricane Katrina or the 9/11 incident. It’s not about the fame, it’s about telling other peoples’ stories. It’s about letting other people know the plight of these people. I’m never one of those news hounds, whose major ambition in life is to break another’s life. I know there are reporters like that out there, but thankfully, not many of them are in Singapore.

I still remembered how I thought I heard Pastor just blurted out the words “be a journalist” out of the blue during a particular night of bible studies. I know one dear brother remembered that incident because he told me excitedly afterwards that he knew that was for me the moment those words were uttered. I guess in the back of my mind, I like to believe him too.

Am I contented with where I am right now? I think we can never be contented. But compared to my peers, am I happy doing what I’m doing? I guess it’s not as “glam” as reporting, so to speak. Journalism has its own woes and drags too.

I’m still doing writing, albeit, in a different form. I saw how a certain lady can get famous just by blogging. I wondered if I can too. Or rather, I should say I just have this desire to publish something, you know, write a book, get it published, so people can read and enjoy it.

I remembered getting a phone-call from the NTU School of Communication and Information alumni one day during office hours. Apparently, they are trying to keep a record of recent graduates. After I’ve furnished her with my particulars and things like, when I graduated and what I majored in and what I am doing now (my job, that is), she managed to slip in the question: “So have you won any awards?”

That question really caught me totally by surprise. I mouthed a few words I think, something like: “Well, I hoped so…I guess.” And then as if to check if she got her facts right, she followed up with a: "So that means you haven't won any awards." I don’t know what to make of it. I know in my line of work, there is a possibility to win an award in the creative circles, like perhaps the Crowbar or the Singapore Creative Awards, because nowadays they give you an award for everything. It’s like those “stars” that you collect when you were in primary school, for example, after you get full points for your spelling. It serves to validate what you’ve accomplished. Like a plaque or testimony.

I ask myself: are those really that important? I mean, of course, it takes time to build a portfolio and all, and yes, of course, to win an award is like making a statement to the whole world, in my case, the advertising or creative circles world that “you have ARRIVED”. I remembered my boss ask me this question casually over a conversation in his car: “So do you aspire to be the best copywriter in Singapore?”

I didn’t answer him. Because that question hit me with the same magnitude as that question from the caller from the school alumni. Where am I now, at this point in time? Probably next to zilch in terms of career wise.

But I just love writing. And I haven’t given up hope of one day writing a book, maybe a few books, and publishing them of course. I just want to enjoy the writing without thinking whether what I write will win any awards or not.

Let me say that again: I love writing.

posted by weiwen @ 12:50 AM