xtravagantworshipper

It still hurts...

2010-10-06T18:00:00.000-07:00

It was not until page 71 when tears started streaming from my eyes. It was Christmas Eve, and I’m lying on my bed, totally absorbed in the pages of Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom.

The words that turned on my taps?

“I lost my mother when I was a child…and it was quite a blow to me…I wish I’d had a group like yours where I would have been able to talk about my sorrows. I would have joined your group because…because I was so lonely…”

Except, that it wasn’t my mother I lost. It was my father.

My father left us on 3^rd November 2008, slightly over a year ago. He died of cardiac arrest in our house.

I deliberately used the word ‘left’, because it did seem (or rather, it was) that way. There weren’t any warning signs, not even a hint.

It was just like any other day.

My father returned from work on that fateful Sunday night, and as was his routine, he would take a nap before he showers.

My father’s work was tough, very tough. He would wake up before the sun is up each day, and make his way to this fruit shop in Joo Seng housing estate. Most days, I’m guessing, he sleepwalks there.

He had rented the fruit shop. He’s always wanted to start his own business, though past ventures had either failed, or he was cheated of his “investments”.

So he would toil all day at the fruit shop, and come home totally exhausted at around eleven every night.

And when he stepped into the house, he would always pick his usual spot in front of the TV, and collapsed like a sack of potatoes. Before long, his loud snores could be heard – which to me, sounded more like the grunts of an overworked buffalo.

Most times, he would lose track of time, and slept till past two in the morning. His snores spoke volumes of the day’s labor. And as the years went by, those snores sounded more like an asthmatic person gasping for breath.

Sometimes, I would wake him up and remind him that he should shower and sleep. Most times, I would just let him sleep till the next morning.

And so it was, on that fateful night, he hadn’t had his routine nap when I returned from church and later on, accompanied a friend on a shopping trip.

He greeted me with his usual words: “Have you eaten?”

I only nodded my head.

He said he had bought some sweet desserts for mum and me, and that we should tuck in while they were still warm. I declined.

I was too exhausted from the day’s activities, and though I was used to being a nocturnal creature, I plonked onto my bed before midnight, and was soon fast asleep.

I remembered, though, that in the moments before sleep captured me, I heard my mum calling out from the bedroom for my father – to rouse him from his nap and remind him that he should shower.

In my semi-conscious state, I heard my father mutter a reply of sorts. This was followed by a series of coughs, as my father urged himself to make his way to the bathroom.

He always lit a cigarette before he showers. I heard the flick of a lighter, splashes of water as the tap is turned on, and lapsed into a deep slumber.

* * *

What happened in the next few minutes changed my life forever.

It hit me like a nightmare, though I had no recollection of having had one. It’s one of those inexplicable encounters.

I was jolted from my deep sleep – to say that I have been zapped by an invisible bolt of lightning would have been an exaggeration but you get the idea.

I bolted from my bed, and headed for the bathroom, stung by a strange premonition that something was amiss.

It turned out something was wrong, awfully wrong.

I heard loud wheezing sounds from the bathroom, the kind you hear when a person suffers a serious asthmatic attack. Except that, my father never had asthma.

I banged on the door, and called out his name.

“Pa…Pa…what’s wrong? What happened?” Wheezing sounds.

After a few attempts, I gave up banging, and tried to scale the bathroom door, using my toes to hook on to the grooves in the door, and using my arms to lift myself up.

I saw my father slumped at a corner of the bathroom, naked, white foam oozing out from his mouth, and trickling down his right cheek. There was a string of faeces on the floor next to him.

His whole body looked pale.

I ran into my parents’ bedroom and woke my mum up. Something’s not right, I said, Pa fainted in the bathroom.

Still a little dazed, and eyes squinting, mum followed me into the kitchen. She wasn’t expecting the end of the world. She said my father had complained of back aches a couple of days ago. She didn’t suspect anything.

Grabbing the kitchen knife, I forced it through the slit in the doorway and gave the latch a forceful upward yank.

I pushed the door open, and only managed to hit the left foot of my father’s slumped body.

Shivering, panicking, and heart racing, I tried to shift the motionless body to its side, while avoiding stepping the strand of faeces on the floor.

“We need to get him out of the toilet,” I said to mum. “Help me.”

The Most Embarassing Day(s) Of My Life

2008-03-17T09:03:00.000-07:00

Okay today (or these two days) is/are probably the most embarassing day or days of my life.

I don't know how many of you saw this gaping eyesore but if you did, I sincerely apologized. And if you did, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME???

Sheesh...

Sigh...

I was happily walking together with my colleagues today in search of a place to settle down for lunch, when one of them said: "Lawrence, you have a super big hole in your jeans!!!"

And I turned around, like a dog trying to chase its tail, and kept asking: "Where? Where?"

"Your butt area..."

"Eh you should wear heart-shaped boxer shorts, then maybe can see the heart shape..."

"Aiyoh...who you wanna show?"

"Alamak!!! You went to work this morning on the MRT in this???"

The remarks flew like arrows headed for the bull's eye.

And there it was, one huge slit, that gaped open to expose flesh and skin...yucks! Oh my God!

Then, my lightning fast mind recalled - that I wore this same pair of jeans to church yesterday!!! And I even jumped up and down during praise and worship!!! Okay, I don't wanna imagine what's the view like for people from my back...

*Horrors of horrors*

A!@&#(@&#(&$&(@$@

NO!!!! Molelymolelymolelymolelymolelymolelymolely...

So I tried to pull my polo T-shirt down as I became conscious that with every step I take could make the tear wider and wider...till one of my colleagues said: "Eh, you look like you're wearing a black mini-skirt from the back..."

But I still kept tugging my shirt down every two steps or more, just to make sure it covered the hole. This is just not happening man...

Then on the way back to office, walking ahead of my female colleagues up the flight of stairs, one of them said: "Hey, you walk up the stairs first, after you reach then call us k...we don't wanna see..."

Embarassment...

To make matters worse, I was due to meet with one of my freelance writers in half an hour's time.

I decided I had to make my way to the nearest men's clothing store (which is G2000 at UOB Center, and a good 10 minutes walk away).

And while I would have liked to teleport there immediately, like one Hiro Nakamura, I can't, and worse, I had to take small steps but quick small ones...like how geishas would shuffle their feet as they walk, their wooden clogs furiously battling the cobbled streets of Osaka.

The sun was at its merciless best, and I was sweating big drops of sweat. How much of it was due to the heat, and how much was due to the overwhelming anxiety - I seriously don't know.

Oh then I had to meet people I know along the way. A quick exchange of "hi-byes and how are you doing? Good to see you...bla bla bla" and I tried to fashion a smile (awkwardly), as broad as I can, and then I shuffled off.

Crossing the road, oops, small steps. Avoid eye contact. Small steps. That's it. Stay low. Another traffic light to go...you can do it!

And there it was!!! G2000!!! Mecca!!! The Holy Grail!

I took an escalator to the second floor, where the men's department is. Sweeping across the room , I spotted a pair of berms, and then a pair of jeans.

Then I had to negotiate another obstacle, okay, two. There were two teenage girls helping one of their guy friend (I think one of them is the girlfriend) choose clothes.

And they were standing at the entrance to the changing rooms!!!

I grabbed a pair of berms, glanced at it - size 32 (oh well...) - apologized my way to one of the changing rooms, and shut the door immediately.

Relief...

Tried the berms - too big.

Changed back to my holely jeans, came out and apologized my way again at the teenage goddesses who stood like twin towers guarding the entrance to the changing rooms.

I approached a retail assistant and asked if they have a smaller size for the berms. Grabbed one of the jeans off the rack to give it a shot.

So this went on for a while before I could find the right size. Thankfully, I found a right fit, a few sizes smaller.

I told the retail assistant I'd take the berms, and told her I want to change into it immediately, and if she could kindly snip off all the tags.

She said yes, and asked if she could iron it for me since it appears a little creased.

And much as I was desperate, I flashed the broadest smile and said: "Thank you very much."

A nervy 2 minutes felt like 2 hours.

My phone buzzed. An sms from my freelancer informed me that she will be running about 5-10 minutes late...

Okay, "Cool" - I texted her back!

Finally, having been satisfied that she has steamed away the creases on my new pair of berms, she handed them back to me.

Thank God! One more time, I apologized my way past the "twin towers", locked myself in the changing room, and voila, I was clothed! Fully clothed!

I walked out of G2000 feeling like a new man, looking smug and confident in my mini-skirt-T-shirt-and-berms combo.

And then my mobile rang.

"Hey, Lawrence, I'm here already. Where are you?" A bright feminine voice asked.

Oops...still have to meet my freelancer, got to go...

I headed for our meeting place. This time, big steps all the way...

I Want To Sing

2008-03-12T08:35:00.000-07:00

Phew...can't remember the last time I actually wrote something in this space...

Truth is, not much into blogging nowadays because I'm doing that on a daily basis, but the difference is that it's part of my job, so at the end of the day, I'm just contented to keep coming back to this space to read what others have posted.

Just wanted to pen this down real quick because I had one of my most intimate sessions with Abba while singing this song. Every time I sing it, it never fails to touch me, to the point I get goosebumps all over.

That night, I told Abba I really want to lead worship. If I can't do it on a regular basis, I'll do it on my wedding day. (I don't know when this is going to be, how it's going to happen, who my wife will be...but let's just say it's a faith wedding plan I made).

Yes, I'm going to lead worship with my wife...whoever she will be. We are going to kick off this Holy Matrimony by first welcoming our Daddy God down the aisle, and into the front row seats. We're going to tell Abba: Welcome Daddy, please have a seat. This is for You Daddy, we love You.

We're gonna kick-start the ceremony by first having Holy Communion - to remember what Christ has done for us, and hey, it's a celebration of love, and what better way to honor and observe it by having Holy Communion. Because it was His single act at the Cross, that demonstrated to the world His love.

That He would die for all our sins, like a lamb to the slaughter, dumb to His slayer.

Lord Jesus, You are welcome in this place.

Oh after that, We're (me and my wife, and the band) gonna just let the Holy Spirit sweep this place, and the Presence of God fill the entire outdoor patio at the beach, or overlooking the sea. And there we shall sing, we shall dance, we shall raise our voices and just offer our highest praises and deepest worship.

We're going to fill the House of God with worship, and just engulf everyone in the Presence of God.

I'm penning all this down as a reminder to myself, and with all you out there who read this post, to remind me of this vow I made before God, and with you guys as witnesses.

Say amen!

In case you think I have forgotten and digressed, here's that song that keeps me going, and fills me with His love all over again each time I sing it (yes, I plan to sing that on my wedding day too). Here it goes...

I want to sing...
Until I am lost in Your arms...
Till I'm found in Your Presence...
Worshipping You at Your throne..

Filled by Your Spirit...
Entering into Your flow...
How precious this moment...
Lord, I want You to know...

It's You...
You, who have warmed my heart,
You've taken me into Your arms,
And comforted me like a friend...

Your love...surrounded me from the start...
I never want to be apart...
From You ever again...

It's You...
You, who have warmed my heart,
You've taken into Your arms,
And comforted me like a friend...

And Your love...
Surrounded me from the start..
I never want to be apart...
From You ever...again...

I love You Daddy...

I Miss You

2007-10-11T08:18:00.000-07:00

Just had to pen something down I suppose.

Never really know the impact and magnitude until the effects make themselves increasingly obvious by the day: and it is that, I miss you; I really do.

Not being able to talk to you like we used to, not being able to share and fellowship with you...well, I know you're busy, which was why many a times, I had to consciously hold myself back from "disturbing" you on msn.

I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. I just miss you, that's all.

Selah

God is love

2007-06-04T23:53:00.000-07:00

God is love (updated with more thoughts...)

It’s been a long time since I last wrote something in this space.

So now that I’m on leave, it frees up time which I would otherwise squander away by bumming because when you are working, you just don’t wanna do anything else when you’re NOT working…

It’s funny how when you’re busy, your brain functions on auto-pilot, and sometimes, the Lord just finds it that extra difficult to get through to you, anyone with me on this?

Then we keep mumbling and wondering if the Lord is there when we pray or when we cry out to Him, not knowing that all the while, He is there, just that we conveniently refuse to open the door.

Sometimes, it’s as if, you know, the Holy Spirit becomes like a ‘nuisance’ and I say this reverently – your mind goes something like…”Eh Lord, busy la now, don’t come and disturb me…”

But when we encounter challenges, we would shed buckets of tears before the Lord and cry out “Oh Lord, hear my prayer…”

Okay okay, you all are good folks okay, I’m the odd ball here…haha

Anyway, so it was, now that I’m sooooo… free, it seems, the Holy Spirit’s promptings just become a tad clearer.

This morning, while on a bus, feeling sleepy and all, the Lord dropped a nugget into my heart.

He said to me: “Let love find you…”

And I was like…hmmm…thinking, Lord, why suddenly this phrase…

Then He replied: “I am love”.

It then became clear to me what He was trying to tell me.

It’s almost cliché to say that we should let go and let God but we never seem to do that, especially in the area of relationships.

We always feel the flesh working against us. We can be praying for one minute to let go and let God take care of our life partner. Then the next minute, we try to make something happen by our own flesh.

It can be as simple as sending a text message, to find something to SMS that someone, or even to msn that person – I’m sure we’ve all been through that one way or another.

Rather than let your thoughts, and your world revolve around that person of your heart's desire, why not let God woo that person for you?

You know what, God desires much more to provide that ideal life partner for you than you are.

In fact, He has gone way ahead of you and saw to it that you shall have a blessed marriage and family life. He already saw your grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Dear brothers and sisters, you are precious to God - you are His Beloved.

The Apostle Paul says it like this in Ephesians 3: 13 - 19: "Therefore I ask that you do not lose heart at my tribulations for you, which is your glory.

"For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, (Ephesians 3: 14 - 15)

"...that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; (Ephesians 3: 16 - 17a)

"that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height - to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." (Ephesians 3: 17b - 19)

The width, length, depth and height of God's love is measured by the Cross - that He should let His Beloved Son be subjected to extreme torture, pain, sufferings, sickness, all manner of disease, to be sin for us on the Cross, that you may be redeemed, scantified (which means to be set apart), and raised with Christ to the status of Son-ship!!!

Selah (Pause)

Let me say this again - dearest brothers and sisters, YOU are PRECIOUS to Abba Father, YOU are His BELOVED!!!

Meditate on that love, dwell on it for a while.

In fact, the Apostle Paul is so convinced of the love that Jesus has for all of us that he writes in Romans 8:35 :"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

"Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. (Romans 8:37)

"For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come," (Romans 8:38)

"nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:39)

* * *

There's a Chinese vernacular saying that goes like this "You're choosing others but others are choosing you too" when they advise people against being too picky about their life partner.

This statement is both true and not true.

It's true because the world sees relationships as such, but the Lord Jesus says it himself in John 15: 19: " If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world..."

The above vernacular saying hence do not apply to us anymore. Because the Lord chose us even before the foundations of the world, even before you were conceived in your mother's womb.

The Lord set you apart, raised you up to the status of royal kings and priests - a sanctuary and temple worthy of the Holy Spirit, worthy of His love.

"And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. (1 John 4:16)

"Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. (1 John 4:17)

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. (1 John 4:18)

"We love Him because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19)

And He says to you and me: “Let love find you” and 1 John 4:8 tells us that “He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”

God is love! Amen!

Let’s say that again, and this time, just take some time to savour and meditate on what He’s telling us…God is love!!!

Let Him love you, brothers and sisters, and that love - His love - will attract that brother or that sister-in-Christ to you - because it's the love of God!!!
So, let God (love) find you!!!

1 John 4: 9 - 10 is so beautiful – it goes on to say that “In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son [to be] the propitiation for our sins.”

God is love. Let love find you. Let God find you.

Beautiful…

Jesus, My True Rest

2007-05-07T04:36:00.000-07:00

Jesus, My True Rest

I was chatting online yesterday night with a sister-in-Christ whom I have not caught up with for a long time.

We updated each other on what has happened in our lives for the past two years, and somehow, we started to share on “resting in the Lord”.

And suddenly, she asked me how is the word “rest” written in Chinese characters.

So I replied: “休息lor…”

To my surprise, she exclaimed in excitement: “Really? Is that how it is written in Chinese?”

So I told her: “Remember the verse that talks about “oh come to me all you who are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

I asked her if she recalls where this verse is taken from, as I have forgotten. But at the same time, I looked it up in my Chinese Bible and found this in Matthew 11:28.

She also found the verse, almost simultaneously.

Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give your rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

This is the Chinese translation (for those of you who can read Chinese):-

马太福音 11：28-30：” “凡劳苦担重担的人可以到我这里来，我就使你们得安息。我心里肉和谦卑，你们当负我的轭，学我的样式；这样，你们心里就必得享安息。因为我的轭是容易的，我的担子是轻省的。

The NIV version of the Chinese Bible translated ‘rest’ as “安息 ”.

But in the Chinese vernacular, in common figures of speech, we do not write: 我要安息了(which means in English “I want to rest”), do we?

Instead, we write “我要休息了”to mean “I want to rest” right?

It was at this instant, as I was reading the verse, that the Holy Spirit dropped another nugget of revelation into my heart!

And I was so excited, as He revealed more and more to me, which I’m going to share with you now.

Firstly, do you notice that the words 休息 which means ‘rest’ in Chinese, comprises two Chinese characters.

Now we know that Chinese characters originated from pictograms from ancient times.

Let’s look at the two characters that combine to mean the word ‘rest’ separately to uncover this revelation.

In the Chinese character 休 (pronounced as ‘xiu’), we see a 人 written side by side with the character 木 (which means ‘wood’).

This calls to mind the following verse from John 15: 4-5 when Jesus reveals Himself as the True Vine.

He says: “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. (John 15: 4)

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me, you can do nothing. (John 15: 5)

The Amplified Bible used the word ‘dwell’ for ‘abide’. Basically, it means ‘to stay’.

Can you see therefore that the Chinese character休 is pictorially speaking, a man abiding/dwelling/staying with Christ, represented by the木, which is wood?

By the way, the word 木 is also pictorially, a人 on a 十 (i.e. a Man on a Cross)

Remember that Chinese characters originated from pictograms because the early Chinese people composed words from what they see by their eyes, just as the Egyptians use hieroglyphics.

Now let’s look at the other half of the Chinese word for ‘rest’ - 息.

It is made up of a 自 (which means ‘me’ or ‘我’) over a 心 (which means ‘heart’).

So put together, pictorially, the other word for rest息 is actually the picture of a person over a heart, i.e. guarding one’s heart.

Where this appears in the Bible, let’s look at Philippians 4: 6-7 which says

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

What, then, is this ‘peace of God’?

It is the shalom that Jesus gives unto us as He says in John 14: 27

“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

Put together the two Chinese characters, 休息, unveils the true meaning of the word ‘rest’ as defined by Jesus himself in the Bible.

So, brothers and sisters, we are to guard our hearts with the peace of God, with the shalom that Jesus gives us. And this shalom peace can only be found in Him, so in Him we shall Abide and Dwell in.

And there, we shall encounter and enter the True Rest – Jesus Christ, the Son of God!

For in Hebrews 4: 9-10, the Apostle Paul writes “There remains therefore a rest for the people of God. For he who has entered His rest has himself also ceased from his works as God did from his.”

And that rest, as illustrated by the Chinese characters休息 is found in our Saviour and Lord Jesus Christ! Hallelujah!!!

Healing or Feeding?

2007-04-14T21:01:00.000-07:00

Healing or Feeding?

I am supposed to feel excited.

Well, I should, because I have just witnessed miraculous healings taking place - the lame walked out of their wheelchairs, people being slain in their seats, in domino-fashion, pastors lying on the stage in a trance, shaking uncontrollably.

I have just attended an evangelical healing meeting by a great man of God, a successful minister with one of the most respected healing ministries in the world.

That’s right. For those of you who attended the Benny Hinn rally last night at the Singapore Indoor Stadium and went away awe-stricken, dumbfounded, or emotional recharged, you would have experienced the scenario I have just described.

Yet, all the while, raising my hands to the Lord, and praying incessantly in tongues, I was continually asking my Heavenly Father – is this truly your work Lord?

Don’t misunderstand me, it’s wonderful that people are getting healed…but it’s quite a sight to behold for the uninitiated, and I would even go so far as to say, it’s a little traumatising.

I mean, it’s the first time I see people who have been slain, being ‘commanded’ to be picked up by the catchers, and then with a sweeping “The Fire From Heaven”, the people would be slain.

There was this guy who was slain repeatedly, not once, but THREE times!!!

Poor fella, he was literally shaken as if a lightning bolt just hit him. Man! It’s an awesome sight!

Selah.

Now think again, the “Fire from Heaven” – tweak tweak…I mean, you’re serious?

And did you notice how authoritative Pastor Benny sounded when he ‘flowed’ with God?

“Get him out of the way! I say, get him out! Pick him up, QUICK! Pick him up! Let’s do our job, you gotta pay more attention…” these are all words that Pastor Benny uttered as he went around dishing the “Touch of the Holy Spirit!”

At one point, Pastor Benny was asking people in the seats to hold hands in various sections, according to what he says, the “flow of the Spirit” and with an exclamation of “Touch!”, the entire section of people would be instantaneously slain in their seats!

The best part was at the end of the service, he asked Pastor Kong of City Harvest Church (also the organising church for this event) to come out and bless the choir with the touch of the Holy Ghost.

And he said to Pastor Kong, that when he raised both his hands and said the word “Touch”, the entire choir would be slain in the Spirit.

And this he did, as Pastor Benny said.

The entire choir was slain the moment he said “Touch” – in impeccable domino fashion! It’s like watching a superbly-coordinated stunt show!

And subsequently members of the choir, both brothers and sisters, were in a state of holy laughter or crying.

I don’t know what you guys say to all these. It’s not that I have not witnessed people being slain in my church, and personally, I’ve experienced the touch of the Holy Ghost and the experience of being slain.

But to do it in such spectacular, I would even say ridiculous fashion, it begs the question “what’s the purpose of it all? Are lives being transformed? Maybe. Is the Word going forth? Perhaps. Is your spiritual hunger satisfied? I very much doubt so.”

I don’t know. Something inside me didn’t feel the peace. Though I kept praying in tongues, in my mind, I kept talking to the Lord: “Lord, aren’t you a loving Father? Is that how the way you ‘flowed’ with a minister of Your Word?”

You know what He said?

He said: “Son, do not go after signs and wonders. You know who I am.”

It reminds me of this verse from John 10: 27 - "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” (NKJV)

Again, I want to stress that I have respect for Pastor Benny, and this was also the main reason why I was so excited initially when I heard he’s coming here for three days to preach!

Man, I wanna hear him preach!

But I was left with a feeling of hunger, and not being fed!

Listening to a double-sided CD sermon from our church, I felt so full from the Word and so blessed!

I feel so blessed to be in this church! And I say, give me that CD anytime!

Sojourn

2007-03-12T23:22:00.000-07:00

February 1, 2007

I’m a sojourner in my native land,
Drifting through life,
Fleeting moments, time and space,
Space and time,
A participant on some occasions,
A bystander on most.

Skyscrapers struggle for positions in the cityscape,
With new ones climbing higher to stake their claim,
Just like the executives they house,
Stepping over each other to climb the corporate ladder,
Chasing futile dreams,
Fulfilling transient ambitions.

I shrugged at the corporate rat race,
Of which I have no wish to be a part of.
Yet many a times, I wonder,
If that’s the way to eke out a living,
In a place I call home.

I’m a sojourner in my native land,
A native vagabond, if such a species exists.
National misfit, cultural nomad.

I’m supposed to be ethnic Chinese,
Yet have no inkling of my Chinese roots
Even the Chinese media thinks in English
But reports in Chinese,
However hard they try to deny.

We brag about our colonial history,
But we have no relations to the Queen.
Our forebears are immigrants,
Thrust onto our shores by fate’s cruelty
Penniless, culture-less, hopeless.
Their descendants (that’s us) are root-less.

I’m a sojourner in my native land,
Drifting, fleeting, wandering,
I struggle to breathe,
In a society that stifles,
My soul cries out.
Who hears me, in the still of the night?

But the still soft voice inside of me.

Start Living

2007-03-12T23:21:00.001-07:00

Start Living

19 December 2006

I went for detox today. At Golden Village Bishan.

It had been raining when I left home. It is still raining as I’m typing away at my computer now.

I didn’t think it was going to turn out to be a detox session. It’s just one of those things that ordinary boring Singaporeans do when they have nothing to do at home – hit the cinemas.

I do admit that I have a penchant for romantic comedies, and it seems uncanny that I would somehow end up watching some Christmas romantic comedy at the movies during Santa season – alone.

Three years ago, I caught Love Actually, which starred amongst others, Colin Firth and Keira Knightley. I enjoyed it tremendously.

Many years ago, I also found myself sprawled in front of the silver screen, watching the hilarious antics of Ben Stiller in Meet The Parents and the “doesn’t happen in real life” cyber romance between Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail.

And so it was, that I just had to catch The Holiday. I haven’t watched the trailer, nor have I read any synopsis. But I decided I would catch it anyhow.

You know why there are suckers like me who get hooked on romance comedies. Because whether they admit it or not, people love to attach themselves to characters inside a movie – and find solace, comfort, peace, joy and pieces of themselves inside those characters.

It’s like some kind of therapy, an antidote out of reality, fulfilling personal fantasies, confronting your own demons, or nursing your own wounds.

And when we find someone we could identify, we nod our heads, cry our eyes out, and mumble to ourselves on the inside, saying: “Yes, that’s me, that’s me…”

So it was no surprise that I was looking out for a character I could identify.

I couldn’t find one in the past romantic comedies I’ve watched because they are just so unreal. These things DO NOT happen to normal people.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed them thoroughly. I just could not relate to them.

But I found my character in The Holiday, in the character Iris, played by Kate Winslet.

Yes, I know her character is a woman. Can’t I be the male version?

I knew it the moment she said: “I know all about unrequited love…”

Like her character Iris, I’m a writer (at least I think I am), and I happen to work in a news agency too. Iris worked as a journalist in the London newspaper Daily Telegraph.

And not wanting to spoil the movie for you, I shall not reveal more details of the show.

The thing is, I finally found someone who is real, whom anyone can identify.

I thought I have gotten over a girl, a sister from church. I have fallen for her about this time round last Christmas.

Well, as you have guessed the ending, she got attached subsequently, to another guy she met only for a few months over some golf lessons.

Earlier this year, she had politely told me at the time of rejection that she was focusing on her career and finances. Load of bull, I realised on hindsight.

Truth is, I haven’t even started making my intentions obvious. She said she sensed something, and wanted to clarify things.

Anyway, I thought I have gotten over her. As it turns out, I haven't.

Just the other day, I happened to be standing near her and she was chatting and half-whispering happily to another sister.

I didn’t eavesdrop but I understood the gestures to know that wedding bells could soon start ringing in her life.

It was then that I felt a cocktail of emotions well up inside me all at once – of jealousy, of regret, of anger, of resentment, of sadness. It was a horrible feeling.

So in a way, this was pretty much the plight of Iris in the movie, and for the first time, I could relate.

Of course, as with all Christmas romantic comedies, it had to have a happy fairy-tale ending.

If Graham, the character played by Jude Law, was a ‘major weeper’, I must be a serial one.

Yet I didn’t shed a tear in this movie, unlike Cameron Diaz’s character Amanda Woods, who recovered her ability to cry. In the movie, Diaz’s character Amanda hasn’t cried since she’s 15 years old after her parents divorced.

So instead of weeping, I discovered a new-found strength, a sense of liberation, like Kate Winslet’s character Iris, who towards the end of the story, chose to shut the door on her unrequited love.

She chose to live life, and enjoy it.

I decided that I would do the same. I will start living, and enjoy it.

Will those cocktail of emotions surface again to drown me? It didn’t matter. At the moment, honestly, I couldn’t care less.

Allow me to edit what Jack Black said in the movie: “It’s going to be Christmas, and we’re going to celebrate being young, and being ALIVE!”

I want to start living, and enjoy it – starting with some sushi and a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon.

Oh by the way, did I mention that I enjoyed immensely the Christmas jingles and songs that were tastefully and felicitously sprinkled over the course of the movie?

Anyway…Bon Appétit.

P.S.: I’m not exactly a fan of Kate Winslet (the last film I saw of her was in James Cameron’s film Titanic, remember Rose?) but I thought her character drew the short straw when she was paired with Jack Black as her eventual lover inside The Holiday. I like her in this show. What a pity!

A New Creation – The Story of Naaman

2006-12-19T20:00:00.000-08:00

A New Creation – The Story of Naaman

4 December 2006

I had a great impulse to pen this down the moment I got home on the night when I received this revelation!

It was such an awesome feeling whenever God drops one of these nuggets in my spirit. It’s like the Holy Spirit just unveils the things in the Scripture concerning His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ.

As Pastor Prince puts it, it’s about the unveiling of Christ each time the Gospel – the good news- goes forth.

I’m not going to jump straight into the revelation because I want to recount the steps in which God led me to behold the beauty of His Son through the Scriptures.

Well, obviously, as the title of this entry suggests, it’s about Naaman, the commander of the army of the king of Syria, from 2 Kings 5.

What happened was that continuing from my previous entry on 2 Kings 3 about the grain offering and how the Lord delivered the three kings from the Moabites, I decided to carry on reading from 2 Kings 3.

And coming to the story of Naaman, I was inspired to look up the Hebrew meanings of certain words mentioned in this chapter.

In sum, the story of Naaman talks about this Syrian army commander, who though the Bible calls him a “mighty man of valour” and a “great and honourable man in the eyes of his master”, was a leper.

So he heard about this Jewish prophet called Elisha from one of his wife’s maid, and asked the King of Syria to send a letter to the King of Israel for Elisha to heal Naaman.

So Naaman went to see Elisha, and was told instead by Elisha’s messenger to “go and wash in the Jordan seven times” (2 Kings 5:10) and “your flesh shall be restored to you, and you shall be clean”.

Upon hearing this, Naaman became furious, the Bible says, because he thought he had been taken for a ride.

Naaman was expecting signs and wonders you see - he was expecting Elisha to perform some miracle or something.

The Bible says Naaman retorted to the messenger: “He will surely come out to me, and stand and call on the name of the LORD his God, and wave his hand over the place, and heal the leprosy.”

Doesn’t that sound familiar? Naaman sounds just like us, doesn’t he? Sometimes, we are so anxious about the obstacle or challenge that we demand God to perform His magic and instantaneously turn around our situation.

Besides, Naaman was prideful – he thought that the rivers of Damascus are far better than the Jordan, so why should he go and do such a stupid act?

He said in 2 Kings 5:12: “Are not the Abanah and the Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them and be clean?”

So, he turned and went away in a rage. (2 Kings 5: 12)

Then his servants tried to talk some sense into him saying “My father, if the prophet had told you to do something great, would you not have done it? How much more then, when he says to you, [Wash, and be clean]?” (2 Kings 5:13)

Basically, his servants are saying: “Eh sir, chin chai la, either way you have nothing to lose what, just do what he tell you to do la.” (That’s my Singlish interpretation, for al you Singaporeans reading this).

Naaman did as he was told, and dipped seven times in the Jordan, and “his flesh was restored like the flesh of a little child, and he was clean”. (2 Kings 5:14).

So not only was Naaman healed of his leprosy, God renewed his youth supernaturally, until his skin is like that of a little child.

I suggest ladies, you can throw away your SKII mask at this juncture – because God is going to renew your youth like the eagles, like that of a little child!!!

Amen ladies?

Let’s pause here for a while because if you were to continue reading the story, you will find how one of Elisha’s servants Gehazi later became greedy and tried to obtain rewards from Naaman for his miracle healing.

And that’s another prophetic picture altogether.

As mentioned earlier, I was prompted to look up the Hebrew meanings on the words “Abanah” and “Pharpar” after reading it last Friday after Pastor Lian’s message.

I was thinking, since they were Hebrew names, sure got something behind them one right?

Which I did, and I also looked up the name of Naaman in Strong’s dictionary.

But I came away disappointed, because I couldn’t piece together the meanings of the words or establish a link among them.

This is what I found out about the meanings of these words:-

Naaman: pleasantness, beautiful, son of Benjamin

Abanah: support

Pharpar: swift

So I was puzzled, and I asked the Lord: “Lord, no flow leh, I cannot find any connection. Show me Lord, what you mean.”

And it was not until this Friday, when Pastor Prince referred to Jesus’ account of Naaman from Luke 4: 27 as one of two accounts of the Lord blessing us with divine health and wealth (the story of a widow in Sidon) in the new covenant.

I had given up on trying to decipher the meaning of the story behind Naaman until that point, and I asked the Lord to show me again.

You know what people, He is just so amazing. I remembered just after we were called onto the stage after altar call, I was standing there and listening to Pastor wrap up his message, God dropped a nugget.

He said: “Jordan means [Jehovah came down]”. And I was stunned (in my mind la), I was like…hmmm…wow!

Then a lot of questions started to race through my lightning fast mind.

So what’s the meaning of Abanah and Pharpar? What’s the link to Jordan? And what about Naaman, what’s the connection Lord?

Where? How? Why?

And I had nothing to check – no PDA, no Strong’s dictionary – I just had to cling onto the fact that the Holy Spirit told me “Jordan is Jehovah came down”.

If you guys remembered, Pastor expounded on a lot of meanings behind a few Hebrew words on that night.

Fresh from what has just been taught, I decided to ask the Lord to show me again, and He began to unveil the story of Naaman to me all over again.

Naaman, an army commander of the Syrian army, was a picture of the Gentiles, and leprosy, in those times, was a picture of sin. And in the Book of Leviticus, we were told how lepers had to segregate themselves and live outside the tents.

And they are not allowed into the open, and when they do, they had to shout “Unclean, unclean” so that they do not spread the leprosy around.

So, Naaman, mighty and strong as he was, was a leper – he was flawed.

When Naaman was told by Elisha to wash in the River Jordan, what was his response?

He said: “Are not the Abanah and the Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them and be clean?” (2 Kings 5: 12)

Oh by the way, the Lord directed me to check up the meaning of Elisha and you know what it means?

Elisha means “God is salvation”.

This time, the Lord taught me to look up the root words of Abanah and Pharpar.

And boy am I excited when I found out the meanings, because the pieces of the puzzle are starting to fit now.

The root word for Abanah (or Amanah) is “stone”, and that of Pharpar is, catch this – to break or to take away, to make void, always used figuratively, as a covenant.

Hallelujah! Are you starting to see the picture my friends?

Abanah and Pharpar, put together, refers to the Ten Commandments, the covenant cast in stone, that was made void when Jesus Christ died for our sins on the Cross!

And Naaman boasted in this covenant, in that he said, aren’t these greater than all the rivers of Israel? He boasted in the strength of the law, the promise of the old covenant cast in stone, that was made void and which Paul refers to as the ministry of death and condemnation in the New Testament.

But the Gentiles, typified by Naaman, was persuaded by Elisha’s messenger – to do what? Go to the Jordan and dip seven times!

Now what’s the meaning of Jordan?

Earlier on, I told you guys that the Lord told me it means “Jehovah has come down”, so this spirit of unbelief in me wanted to CONFIRM that it was indeed as He has said.

Have you been there before? Every time the Lord lets you in on something, you always want to confirm one. Or you will ask for some kind of confirmation.

So I did, looked it up in Strong’s and it means “descender”, and its root word means “to go or come down”.

And He again prompted me to look up how the word “Jordan” was written in Hebrew. Here it is:

הירדן

hayarden

For the benefit of those not from our church, the Hebrew language reads from right to left, just like the Chinese language.

Furthermore, the Hebrew language has 22 letters, and each letter has a picture associated with it.

You can easily look this up in Wikipedia if you are interested. Just type Hebrew alphabet in the Search column.

Taking apart the word “Jordan” or “hayarden”, we get

ה – pronounced as ‘hei’, picture of a window because the Jewish rabbis didn’t have a picture for it. Now we, who have sat under Pastor’s preaching, know that ה means ‘grace’

י – pronounced as ‘yud’, meaning God, as in Jehovah – יהוה

ר – pronounced as ‘resh’, meaning ‘head’, also means ‘beginning’.

ד – pronounced as ‘dalet’, which means ‘pathway’ or ‘to enter’.

And finally, we have ן – pronounced as ‘noon’, which means ‘life’, ‘fish’, ‘kingdom’, Messiah who is Heir to the Throne.

So let’s put them together and see what we get.

ן	ד	ר	י	ה
life/Messiah/heir	entrance/pathway	Head/beginning	God	grace

Remember that Hebrew reads from right to left, so put together, the word “Jordan” means “The grace of God is the beginning of the pathway to life”.

Hallelujah! So awesome!!! I love this!!!

You know what’s more, the Lord explained to me why Naaman had to dip seven times in the Jordan.

It’s a picture of our Jesus Christ who came down to Earth from the seventh heaven – the highest level in Heaven – to become sin for us and die for us on the Cross.

And Naaman is a typology of the fallen Creation, whom God created originally in beauty, but was then afflicted with sin (typified by the ‘leprosy’) after Adam fell.

But praise be to God our Abba that today WE, the Gentiles, the fallen Creation, like Naaman, have been washed clean of our sins, that we may ascend and be seated together with Christ in the Heavenly places, on the right hand of God – IN THE SEVENTH HEAVEN!!!

Hallelujah!!! Ain’t that powerful, people?

Church, today, we are A NEW CREATION!!!

The story of Naaman is actually a picture of the divine exchange – Christ for our leprosy and sins, that we are washed as white as snow because Jesus came down from his Heavenly throne and become our salvation.

And not only is our ‘leprosy’ or sins completely healed, our flesh, our physical body are constantly being renewed as the Bible says “our youth shall be renewed like the eagle’s” (Psalms 103:5)

Praise Him!!! C’mon, lift Him up!!!

Shout Hallelujah!!!

* * *

The Water Flows!!!

2006-12-19T19:54:00.000-08:00

The Water Flows!!! (Edited, adding verses from Ephesians)

25 November 2006

How many of you attended Bible Studies on Friday night? It was awesome, wasn’t it?

I was so blessed by Pastor Lian’s message, and there was such a strong powerful presence of the Lord in the auditorium.

After altar call, when Pastor Lian called the musicians and singers on stage, she said to the congregation:” Let’s just continue to worship the Lord for a little while…”

And there was this peace that settles at the end of the worship, when Pastor sensed the Lord’s Presence, and asked the congregation to bring to the Lord’s remembrance those things that we desired.

I don’t know about you but where I was standing, eyes closed, I could feel it. People started breaking into tears in the congregation. It was such a tangible intimate moment with the Lord.

By the way, if you have not attended the Bible Studies, Pastor Lian shared on the story of 2 Kings 3 – the story of how Jehoram, the King of Israel, Jehoshaphat, King of Judah, and the king of Edom defeated the Moabites.

Now it happened that Jehoram was the son of Ahab, who had just passed away. So Mesha, the king of Moab, who had been paying tributes to King Ahab, decided that this is the perfect opportunity to rebel, since a new king just replaced the deceased King Ahab.

Pastor Lian shared about the Hebrew meanings of Jehoram (which means “Jehovah is exalted”). Jehoshaphat (which means “Jehovah has judged”) and Edom (which means “Red, typically of a garment stained with blood”).

Well, apparently, having a holy name does not mean you are holy because Jehoram, the King of Israel was an evil king, in the eyes of the Lord, like his father, King Ahab.

So what happened was that the three kings decided to come together to battle King Moab.

Therefore, “the king of Israel went with the king of Judah and the king of Edom, and they marched on that roundabout route seven days; there was no water for the army, nor for the animals that followed them”. (2 Kings 3:9)

And the king of Israel, typical of his ancestors who came out of Egypt, grumbled and complained.

“Alas! For the LORD has called these three kings together to deliver them into the hand of Moab,” says the king of Israel.

But King Jehoshaphat decided to seek the advice of Elisha, who was travelling with them.

Now, to cut a long story short, Elisha called for a musician, and then when the musician played, the hand of the Lord was on Elisha, and he spoke the words given to him from the Lord.

He told them to dig ditches in the valley.

“You shall not see wind, nor shall you see rain; yet that valley shall be filled with water, so that you, your cattle, and your animals may drink,” Elisha said. (2 Kings 3:15-17)

As it turned out, the ditches were not only filled with water, they would later save the three kings, and their armies from the hands of the Moabites, and instead enable them to defeat the Moabites.

So, that got me really interested and I decided to read the entire story again today.

And lo and behold, the Holy Spirit dropped a nugget of revelation again!

It was just so amazing!!! Hold your horses, let me get to it.

Continuing from where we left off about the digging of ditches, 2 Kings 3:20 says “Now it happened in the morning, when the grain offering was offered, that suddenly water came by way of Edom, and the land was filled with water.”

Now, are you getting it?

Pastor Lian shared about how the water speaks of the Holy Spirit, and notice that the “water came by way of Edom (red, garment stained with blood)”.

And she says, Edom speaks of the blood of Christ. So the Holy Spirit was given by the shedding of blood from our Lord Jesus Christ.

But wait, there’s more.

Let’s read the verse again.

“Now it happened in the morning, when the grain offering was offered, that suddenly water came by way of Edom, and the land was filled with water.” - 2 Kings 3:20

Can you see it?

I thought we were told by Elisha that they only had to dig the ditches. So why did they have to offer the grain offering?

Do you realise that the water did not come immediately after they dug the ditches, unlike the case of Moses striking the rock and then water gushing out from it.

Do you also notice that it was in the morning, when the grain offering was offered, that suddenly water came by way of Edom?

C’mon, some of you are getting it already!!!

And why the grain offering? Not the sin offering, not the peace offering, not the trespass offering, but the grain offering?

What is the significance?

Let’s turn to Leviticus, shall we?

Leviticus 2:1 says “WHEN anyone offers a grain offering to the LORD, his offering shall be of fine flour. And he shall pour oil on it, and put frankincense on it.”

Stop. Who was anointed with the oil from the Heavenly Father to speak words of wisdom, and who was anointed with perfume just before His death?

Leviticus 2:2 continues to say:”… He shall bring it to Aaron's sons, the priests, one of whom shall take from it his handful of fine flour and oil with all the frankincense. And the priest shall burn it as a memorial on the altar, an offering made by fire, a sweet aroma to the LORD.”

Ephesians 5:2 says it like this:"And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma."

What does the flour speak of? And did you notice that it is an offering made by fire, a sweet aroma to the Lord?

Who exhuasted the fire from Heaven and the wrath of God, so that He took upon His body all the punishment from the sins of the world?

Let’s go on. Leviticus 2:4 says:”And if you bring as an offering a grain offering baked in the oven, it shall be unleavened cakes of fine flour mixed with oil, or unleavened wafers anointed with oil.”

Leaven speaks of sin, and the Lord instructed the children of Israel to partake of unleavened bread on the night of the Passover.

Can you see the similarity between that and the unleavened bread?

In addition, what does ‘unleavened cakes of fine flour mixed with oil’ speak of?

Shall we go further?

Leviticus 2:13 says ‘And every offering of your grain offering you shall season with salt; you shall not allow the salt of the covenant of your God to be lacking from your grain offering. With all your offerings you shall offer salt.’

Do the verses Matthew 5:13 and Mark 9:50 come to your mind; where Jesus says to his disciples: “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavour, how shall it be seasoned? And “For everyone will be seasoned with fire, and every sacrifice will be seasoned with salt”.

By now, I’m sure you already know what I’m trying to get at. All these descriptions in Leviticus on the grain offering points to our Lord Jesus Christ.

Jesus is the unleavened bread mixed with oil, burned by fire, and seasoned with salt.

And it is for this reason, that when the grain offering was offered, that SUDDENLY, water came by way of Edom.

In other words, the three kings witnessed the miracle of the water filling up the ditches so that they and their animals can quench their thirst, AFTER the offering up of Jesus Christ as the perfect sacrifice!

You know folks, when we need a miracle, we often think of praying. Some Christian denominations still preach that you have to pray very hard, you know, as if God sees that “wahhhhh..you pray so hard ah, wahhh, you good Christian ah….ok la, give you your promotion la…”

Wahhh, if that’s the way God works ah, I think there’s no way I’m going to get my Lamborghini man!

Don’t talk about Lamborghini, I think Chery QQ also got problem!

But has Christ been offered up as our grain offering?

Has Christ, who was sinless, died for all our sins, that today, we enjoy the blessings that He died to give us?

Yes, so we do not have to resort to trying to twist God’s arm. As if Daddy God would be persuaded to withhold His blessings from us – He would more than be willing to give us.

But, hey, everytime we partake of the Holy Communion, we are bringing to our remembrance that Christ has been offered up as our sacrifice.

Today, whenever we need a miracle in our situation, be it at work, at home, relationships, etc, all we have to do is to bring Christ’s sacrifice to our remembrance (because obviously, Daddy God does not forget, though we like to think He does.)

You know what, then the water flows! Suddenly!

“You shall not see wind, nor shall you see rain; yet that valley shall be filled with water, so that you, your cattle, and your animals may drink,” Elisha said. (2 Kings 3:15-17)

You don’t see the signs coming, you think “oh, nothing has changed…life’s the same…whine whine whine…Alas! God….tian ah!!!”

But hey, remember, you don’t see the wind, you don’t see the rain…but SO WHAT?

SO WHAT? THE WATER FLOWS!!! YOUR MIRACLE FLOWS!!!

Because Christ is our grain offering, and He has been offered up!!! Amen?

Or you can also see it this way. When you need a word from the Lord, regarding choices, or decisions you have to make it in your life, well, go to the Lord.

See our Lord Jesus Christ offered up as our grain offering. And SUDDENLY, the water - which also is a picture of the Holy Spirit, which comes by way of Edom [the blood] – starts to FLOW!!!

Hallelujah! Whichever way you see it, there’s no work on your part.

All you have to do is, behold the sacrifice on the Cross, our Lord Jesus Christ!!!

AND THE WATER FLOWS!!! HALLELUJAH! PRAISE HIM!

Amen?

Okay...excuse me, think I might need the loo…

Familiarity

2006-11-13T23:51:00.000-08:00

Familiarity

Familiarity. That’s the topic of my sharing today.

Yesterday I was inspired during an msn conversation with a dear sister-in-Christ to listen to a copy of Darlene Zschech’s sharing at a “Praise and Worship” workshop.

She covered many things during her sharing but the one thing that she wanted us to take home with is to be wary of familiarity.

What is familiarity then?

It is your level of comfort within your area of service, your walk with God, etc etc, that you have come to take certain things for granted, or that you have failed to honour or appreciate that which you were called to do in the first place.

In a ministry like choir, or in any other ministry for that matter, “familiarity” is something we, as servers, have all experienced at some point or another.

But I would say, it’s more apparent in a ministry like choir.

For example, after a day’s work at the office, you feel tired, you long to plonk onto your bed, but yet you have to drag those sore and weary feet of yours to Bible Studies, and oh sharks, you still have to sing that day.

Can we be honest here people? How many of you feel that way before? (You can put up your hand to tell God as you are reading this – there’s no condemnation, it’s just being real).

Recently, I’ve been feeling that way too, and I grumble and I whine to anyone who would care to listen that I’m tired and sleepy and blah blah blah.

But hey, you know what Darlene said? She says that if you carry that emotions or state of being onto the platform, it will show, and vice versa, if you carry a spirit of worship into the house of God, you’re going to rock the heavens and the earth.

I’ve had an opportunity to get to know a sis-in-Christ who chanced upon my blog and enjoyed the stuff that was put up. Thank you sis.

She later told me she is very interested in joining the choir, and she loves to worship. She has even signed up for vocal lessons just so that she can get into the choir.

You can see that she really wants to sing for the Lord.

How many times have I heard my fellow choir people complain about being tired and still have to serve so many services? How many times have I heard myself complaining and whining as well?

And here you have this sister, who is so excited about singing for the Lord that she would give her best, just to be able to do it.

Here I am, thinking…wow! Wow! Time for a change in attitude man!

Darlene quoted this author called Bill Hybels who wrote a book called “Who You Are When No One’s Looking”

She says: “When there’s no lights, when there’s no PA, when there’s no crowd, it’s that building the unseen world, YOUR unseen world, that you and the Lord will possibly be the only ones who ever know about.

“Building the character of who you are, what you watch on television when no one’s around. Your unseen life of worship, it’s very critical.”

“We’re not asking for perfection. The Father is looking for those who worship Him in spirit and in truth. Only Jesus was perfect. The rest of us need Jesus, the blood of Jesus,” she continued.

Those were actually Jesus’s words in John 4: 23 where He says: “But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him.”

What happens on the platform is not a performance. It’s not about looking cool, looking glamorous, looking “holy molly”, with your arms raised, eyes closed, face contorted and looking lost in worship on camera.

Worship on the platform should be an overflow of your personal worship when you’re alone with Him.

I like the way Darlene puts it in her sharing - that it’s about bringing your finest. She quoted King David saying at the end of 2 Samuel: “I will not bring before my King, that which costs me nothing”.

Darlene goes on to say that “it’s not about bringing someone else’ finest, and comparing ourselves and getting lost in that world. But to bring your finest”.

In other words, she says, it’s about offering YOUR best to the Lord.

And that is the result of your intimate walk with God, your wholehearted pursuit of Jesus, your personal worship of God. Just you, and Abba.

You know, it’s amazing to see people in worship from my vantage point during praise and worship.

Yes, for your kind information, I don’t close my eyes all the time because I still have to see what the conductor is doing.

But sometimes, we become familiar. We get used to the large crowds, we get used to the songs – “oh gosh, we’re singing the same songs again, how exciting…*yawn yawn*”

Have you been there before? Oh well, it’s the same music, oh well, it’s the same preaching, oh well, it’s the same people.

But hey people, you are in the Presence of the King. You are singing love songs to Jesus. You are smack right in the embrace of Abba, in the comforts of the Secret Place of the Most High.

Darlene shares about how Elihu challenged Job in Job 37 to meditate on the wonders of God, and His power.

She says: “When you are getting familiar, what you need to do is to meditate on the wonders of God. You need to remember again what it was like when you first came into the team. Remember what it was like when you first got saved.”

Meditate on the wonders of God. When we worship, we proclaim His goodness, His love and mercy, His grace and glory.

We also proclaim the wonders of God. And we want to tell others of His wonders, of all that He has done in our lives.

You know, when we come before Him in worship, when we congregate in the House of God, we ought to be excited.

Imagine what’s the outcome if you come to church, get up on the platform, and you’re thinking “Shucks, my boss sucks, my job sucks, my head hurts, my feet are swollen, I’m hungry, I haven’t had dinner…Why didn’t I close the deal…blah blah blah”.

Hey brothers and sisters, we’re coming together to tell of His wonders, to sing of His greatness, to thank Him for His blessings on our lives, to feel His loving kindness, to dwell in His sweet embrace.

We ought to get excited. Wow! We’re coming to shake the Heavens and the Earth.

All of us, as worshippers, should look forward to do that. It doesn’t matter if you’re serving in choir, in ushering, in children’s church, in Holy Communion, in sound, in message, or if you are just a member of the congregation.

You are not a face in the crowd.

You are a worshipper, known to God by name before your birth, destined by God to have a blessed life, called to worship in spirit and truth in the House of God.

Another manifestation of familiarity is the failure to honour, according to Darlene.

You become too familiar with your surroundings, your church, your pastors, your leaders, your brothers and sisters-in-Christ, that you begin to take them fro granted.

In other words, you fail to honour them.

“Oh there she goes again, it’s the same songs…”

“Sigh…Not again, I’ve heard him preach on this a million and one times. Doesn’t he have any new revelation?”

Familiarity fails to honour.

Jesus says in Matthew 13:57: “A prophet is not without honour except in his own country and in his own house.”

Jesus could not perform any miracles in his own hometown because the people there knew him as a carpenter’s son, an ordinary folk just like them. They are familiar with him as the son of Mary, the brother of James, Joses, Simon and Judas. (Matthew 13:55). They could not see beyond His mortal body, beyond His wise teaching.

They could not see Him as their Saviour.

Likewise, do you see your pastor, as your pastor, not Pastor of so-and-so church, but your own personal spiritual pastor?

So, honour your parents, your pastors, your leaders in church, your brothers and sisters-in-Christ.

Church, we’re in exciting times! Our Heavenly Father is looking out for worshippers today, who would worship Him in spirit and in truth.

And as the days grow darker, the church of Jesus Christ is shining brighter and brighter. And we’re the beacons of hope, we’re walking temples of God.

We’re the light that is going somewhere to shine into a fallen creation crying out for the love of God, to give them hope in a hopeless world.

You know what Darlene shares towards the conclusion of her “sermon”?

She says we’ve got to arrest people’s senses. Simply, we’ve got to make people go “Wow!”

“That’s what the House of God needs to be like. That “Wow!” Look what they’ve prepared for us today. Wow!!! Our children’s church today is fantastic! Look what they’re teaching our children! Wow!!! Look at the choir. Oh my gosh, the choir this morning, they’re out of control, they’re fantastic!!! It’s that *Gasp gasp*!!!” Darlene says.

Hey church, it’s not works. It comes from a natural overflow of knowing God’s goodness and wonders in your life, and God’s anointing just flows in you, through you, of you from the Holy Spirit that is inside you.

And Darlene goes on to say: “I’d love that to be Heaven’s response, to what we bring, as far as the pureness of heart before God. I’d love to make Heaven gasp on a Sunday morning.”

“Don’t you love to hear Heaven go ‘Wow!!! *Gasp* Singapore…Singapore, you’re beautiful. Don’t you love that? It’s that *Gasp gasp* And Jesus goes: [those are my babies. I love it, I love it, that’s my brothers and sisters]!!!” she adds.

Arrest their senses, don’t go through the motions.

Whether you’re smiling at churchgoers at the front door, whether you’re teaching Sunday school kids, whether you’re preparing the elements of the Holy Communion, whether you’re singing or playing the guitar on stage, don’t go through the motions.

And lastly, Darlene concludes: “Always look up!”

“Take time to look up and gaze upon the beauty of the Lord, and not allowing anything of the familiarity of the world to come in and try to crowd the beauty of the Lord out of you!”

Psalms 123 says “Unto You I lift up my eyes, O You who dwell in the hands…”

And know that He is Emmanuel. God is Emmanuel – God with us.

When we place value on the worship of God in our respective ministries, we do not become familiar with our service.

And others will see the glory of God, they would go: “Gasp!!! Wow!!! God is here! God is with us, Emmanuel. This is indeed the House of God!!!

And Jesus goes: “Wow!!!”

* * *

Gideon and his servant

2006-10-26T09:58:00.000-07:00

Gideon and his servant

This nugget of revelation came from the Holy Spirit as I continued reading the story of Gideon and how the Lord promised Gideon that he is the judge that the Lord has appointed to save Israel.

A bit of background first, in Judges Chapter 6, we are introduced to this character Gideon, who was the son of Joash the Abiezrite, the smallest clan in the tribe of Manasseh.

At that time, Israel was constantly under attack from the tribes in Canaan because the children of Israel failed to drive these tribes from the land as God had instructed them.

By the time we see this story, the children of Israel were in a sorry state. They are like refugees, “dwelling in caves and strongholds in the mountains” (Judges 6:2), much like where Osama and his roomies are hiding right now.

Israel was under constant attack from “the Midianites, the Amalekites and the people of the East.” (Judges 6:3-4).

So Gideon was called to save Israel in a time like this.

Now we heard Pastor preach about how Gideon twice asked the Lord for confirmation that he was the one that the Lord had chosen indeed, and the Lord had given him the confirmation.

We also heard Pastor share the beautiful story of Jesus that is hidden in this small episode of Gideon seeking confirmation, how the fleece of wool was a picture of our Lord Jesus Christ who absorbed the sins of the world in His body in the first instance, and in turn unleash all the blessings and was dried up in the second instance.

So after that Gideon went to gather his army but the Lord was not pleased. He told Gideon that “the people who are with you are too many for Me to give the Midianites into their hands” (Judges 7:2).

From a 32,000-strong army, the Lord reduced Gideon’s army to a mere 300 – how the Lord led Gideon to set apart the 300 is another amazing story of grace versus self-effort or works.

If you suspect that Gideon must be scared shit in his pants that the Lord has left him with only 300 men to deliver Israel from the Medianites, you are right!

I think it doesn’t take you to be an army general to figure out that this seem like a lost cause. What can 300 men do against the mighty army of Medianites numbering in the thousands???

That’s where we see the hand of God prevail and how He worked.

So it was, the Bible told us, that Gideon was scared because “on the same night that the Lord said to him,” Arise, go down against the camp, for I have delivered it into your hand (Judges 7:9).

Then strangely, God seemed to know that Gideon was afraid for He added this:” But if you are afraid to go down, go down to the camp with Purah your servant.” (Judges 7:10)

Now what about Purah? Who is he? What is he? Is he Gideon’s general? Is he Gideon’s mighty man of valor, trusted side-kick, Robin to Batman?

Nope, the Bible doesn’t say anything about Purah. His name just appeared out of nowhere and all we know is that Purah is Gideon’s servant.

The Lord continued and said in Judges 7: 11 that “you shall hear what they say, and afterward your hands shall be strengthened to go down against the camp”, that is, the Midianites, the Amalekites and the people of the East.

The Bible records that “the Midianites and Amalekites, all the people of the East, were lying in the valley as numerous as locusts, and their camels were without number, as the sand by the seashore in multitude.” (Judges 7:12).

So it was, we’re told in the following verses how Gideon was told of a dream and its interpretation that one of these Midianites encamped there had during his recce trip with Purah.

Now while reading this, I was led to look up the meaning of the word Purah in Hebrew. Fresh from what Pastor had taught during mid-week about the meanings of Sarah, blessing, and birthright, I believe the Holy Spirit can teach m

Purahe too.

פרה
heh-resh-pei

Pastor taught us that Hebrew is read from right to left, like Chinese characters. And each Hebrew alphabet has a picture associated with it, except for ה, which in modern terms, has a picture of “window” because Hebrew scholars and rabbis cannot find an appropriate picture for it.

Sarah
שרה
heh-resh–sheen

Do you recognise the Hebrew word above? Notice the similarity between Sarah and Purah?

Remember Pastor taught us the reason why the Lord changed Sarai’s name to Sarah because the “Sar” in Sarai means “prince, leader, ruler or chief” while ”resh” means “head or highest person”.

And we know that the ה, Pastor taught us, refers to God, Jehovah, grace. In the Hebrew language, it means “to behold or to reveal”. That’s why the Lord’s name is יהוה or Yah-weh, Jehovah.

If you look up the picture associated with the Hebrew alphabet פ, you will get a “mouth” and its associated meaning is “to speak, or word”

So put them together, פרה or “heh-resh-pei” means “to speak of the Lord in the highest” or “to proclaim the grace of God as the highest”

Later in the story, we are told of the dream that Gideon heard – about a loaf of barley bread tumbling into the camp of Median, striking it and overturning it.

We know that the loaf of barley bread is none other than a picture of Christ, so the Lord has delievered the victory of Israel into Gideon’s hands.

All he needs to do, is to believe it, AND proclaim it!

Today, the Holy Spirit is our servant, to serve us and be our Helper, as how the servant accompanied Gideon. And we are to proclaim the victory of the Lord, to speak of His grace and His Highness, His majesty!

When you encounter a situation, speak of His goodness, proclaim His victory over that sitaution and watch the mighty army of God move!

By the way, it’s interesting to note how the Lord punishes the enemy. He made Gideon and his 300 men sound trumpets and shout “The sword of the LORD and of Gideon!” Remember the story of Jericho? The men just blew their trumpets and shouted!

Then what happens? The Lord made the army of Midianites, the Amalekites and all the people of the East start killing one another. “When the three hundred blew the trumpets, the LORD set eevry man’s sword against his companion throughout the whole camp, and the army fled to Beth Acacia…” (Judges 7:22).

You see, the Lord has a distinctive pattern in the way He works, and He is to repeat this pattern again when He delivered King Jehoshaphat in the same manner from the hands of the Ammonites and Moabites. (2 Chronicles 20: 1-30)

Rejoice my friends! Proclaim the victory of the Lord! Worship Him always and speak of His grace and goodness!

Because He is good, and His mercies endure forever!!!

Shalom.

NCC Praise & Worship Nite 2006 @ Singapore Indoor Stadium

2006-08-02T10:21:00.000-07:00

Nikki and me pose for paparazzi in choir rest room backstage.

Boon'a Anatomy

2006-06-05T10:02:00.000-07:00

Musings of a Doctor-Wanna-be

I could have been a doctor. No, serious, I really could have become one.

Yes, I did share previously that God probably had His purpose in mind to keep me from being a doctor because He knew I was too emotional a person to deal with matters of life and death in my hands.

I set my heart on becoming a doctor when I was in secondary school. I worked my socks off to get into the top two classes in secondary three because those were the only two that offered Biology.

You see, I wanted to take Biology because I had really wanted to be a doctor at the age of fifteen.

So I studied. I memorised all the parts of a cell, understood and at one point, I swear I could even draw the cross-section of a human heart for you if you had asked me to – from the aorta, to the pericardium, to the left and right ventricle. I understood how the nerve system worked and for all the ladies out there, I wouldn’t dare boast about knowing the female menstrual cycle more than you do. But I do know a little.

So there I was, well prepped on my way to realising my dream of being a doctor.

E.R. was the rage at that time – I devoured the show like how Cookie Monster would do to a cookie, or with anything else. I didn’t care too much about George Clooney though I realised E.R. topped the audience ratings probably because of him.

I was caught up with all the medical drama in the hospital. Then there were some locally copied versions of E.R. on Mediacorp Channel 8 as well, starring Edmund Chen if I recalled clearly. I devoured that show too.

I really wanted to be involved in a hospital, with all the doctors rushing in and out of rooms to attend to patients, with nurses en tour. Then the alarm sounds and an ambulance arrives with an injured man involved in a hit-and-run accident and I would have to rush to wheel him into the operating theatre, mouthing out all the medical acronyms – “give him an E.F.G. followed by a C.P.E…and what have you”. Of course, other than CPE, I don’t really know the rest but it just sounds cool hearing that coming out of your mouth.

Life would have been so incredibly exciting, and not to mention that saving lives is an incredibly noble task.

Yet, here I am. I’m not a doctor. In fact, after nicking that A from Biology in my ‘O’-levels, I swore to myself never to touch a biology text again.

Well, to be honest, at that point in time, I just got sick of Biology. Because that subject was nothing more than regurgitation of facts that I pumped into my grey matter, i.e. my brain, and then vomit them all out onto the exam papers.

The prospect of cramming more facts and biological terms into my exploding cranium just doesn’t seem the most exciting to a 17-year-old-hormone-raging boy, who was more eager to get out of a single-gender school and step into “a whole new world” of studying in a co-ed environment.

Of course, wearing green ugly pants for the first three months of junior college didn’t exactly help.

Moving right along, as I was saying, I chose not to continue with Biology into my ‘A’-levels, so that I could avoid cramming more facts, memorising more s***.

I wondered if it was a wrong move. Watching Grey’s Anatomy really puts that buzz back in me again about being a doctor. Just as the buzz I once felt when I was watching E.R. years ago.

Of course, Grey’s is probably more down-to-earth and realistic than that “every doctor looks so handsome or pretty” serial years ago.

And I do get a glimpse of the tremendous stress, responsibilities, sleep depravation, fatigue, lack of a social life and all the other ugly stuff that doctors have to deal with.

But one thing made me realise more than anything else what being a doctor means. It doesn’t simply mean poking your stethoscope onto different parts of your body and hearing the breathing patterns, scribbling some indiscernible prescription, and then dismissing the patient with a “don’t worry, you’ll get well soon”.

It goes beyond saving lives. It means taking responsibility for a life. Many lives in fact. On a daily basis.

It’s having to deal with someone shouting and screaming the words “You killed my daughter,” at you. Or a team of nurses waiting for you to make a split-second decision to pull the life-support machine or not. Or having to say the words "We've tried our best..." to a family waiting with anguish and fear in their swollen eyes. Or simply hearing your own conscience remind you once in a while - that you screwed up.

Or perhaps you have done your utmost and you still can’t save that person’s life when you know deep down in your heart that nobody or nothing else actually could. Yet you still blame yourself for it and tears well up when you have to make the call on the time of death.

Of course, as with failures and sad moments, there will always be victories and sweet memories. As a doctor, you share in the joy of witnessing the birth of newborns. You become a part of the family as you see your patients get better by the day. You feel awesome that God has put you in this position to make the world a better place.

It’s a very peculiar place – the hospital. It’s where we usher life into this world, and also the place where we witness the final drag of life of some of our loved ones.

I’m thankful for all the doctors that God blessed to be doctors. I’m just glad I didn’t become one.

I don’t think I have the guts to be one.

Previously unpublished...

2006-05-12T20:14:00.000-07:00

Forword

"Jesus Never Fails" was written as a testimonial in April 2005, exactly slightly more than a year to this day. It was the title of the first item I have been selected to take part in, and the first of several items to come. Serving in an item adds that extra buzz to me, not only in terms of the fact that you have to serve ALL FOUR services (which is tiring but exhilarating of course!) but also the fact that you just get that extra annointing and communion time with God. I have always maintained that it's a privilege to serve in an item and I will look forward to many more items in the future. That my voice may be used by God to glorify Him and lead thousands in praise and worship into the wonderful presence of God.

Jesus Never Fails

“Jesus Never Fails” is my first item, officially I suppose, if you do not take into account the Christmas show at Orchard last year.

Frankly, I struggled with the rhythm of the song, and the parts of the song.

It was only until that night, when all of us received a surprise ‘gift’ from Wendy that I have a better ‘grip’ of the song and the parts.

To be honest, I thought we deserved that ‘gift’ from Wendy, or at least, I think I did deserve it.

I was absolutely delighted to be involved in the item. I didn’t mind serving the four services. I think at the end of it, all of us felt great. I know I did. I enjoyed the awesome presence of the Lord.

And yes, to think we managed to get it right after only three weeks of practices, it had to be the Holy Spirit.

I received an SMS from Nic (who’s away on long leave) after the fourth service – I guessed most brothers did. It was a message of encouragement – a pat on our backs. Really, I think God deserves all the glory.

And to think just a week ago, I was still struggling with the song.

Singing the item was a personal testimony to the fact that, as the title of the song says, “Jesus Never Fails”.

I think I have to share this now. I have shared with a few brothers and sisters in church, including Mervyn and Jefri, and they were all bugging me to share it at the end of the choir practice.

I guess I was just not comfortable with sharing in front of such a large crowd. I guess it’s better to pen it down here then.

Several brothers and sisters in choir knew that I had been without a job for more than three months.

I used to work in public relations in SIA but I resigned in the first week of January.

To cut a long story short, I felt the calling to go full-time sometime in October last year. At first I dismissed it and never really bought into it.

But the urge became stronger by the day, and a series of negative experiences at work, and at the same time, there was a call from the Publications Ministry (where I’m serving as a writer) for full-time writers.

I couldn’t believe how the string of events just seem to fall into place like that. Of course, I continued to pray about it and not rush into a rash decision.

On hindsight, I did make a rash decision. I sent in my application to church and tendered my resignation to SIA.

I couldn’t explain but there was a peace when I did what I did.

Well, as it turns out, there has been a change in the ministry structure, and they decided to close that position in favour of adopting an alternative approach. Simply put, the position that I previously applied for, was now closed or made void.

I want to be honest and say that I was disappointed. I'm not gung-ho and you know, be hypocritical and say that I'm not affected.

But I believe that if it's God's calling, my portion would not be taken away. I just have to trust in His season and timing.

I took a one-month break and it was only after Chinese New Year that I resumed my search for a job. And the results had not been promising.

Frustration was starting to build and get to me, especially when you have a nagging mother at home.

By God’s grace, I have caring brothers and sisters in choir who kept on encouraging me. Mervyn, Jefri, Leonard, Kok Leng, Clarissa, Belinda and Min have all at one point or another, extended their caring arms. (Not literal of course!)

Leonard and Clarissa went one step further by helping me keep a lookout and sending me ‘job ads’.

Okay I think I better cut to the chase and describe how I got my present job.

It had to be God, just God. In the beginning it was just one of the many companies that I decided to have a shot.

So I think it was in mid-April, when I was called up by this Green House Design and Communications. It was for the position of Copywriter.

The interview was all the more intriguing. This guy who interviewed me (he would turn out to be my boss), well, when he came to the part of asking me what I do in my free time.

I just said I spent quite a bit of time in church, serving in the choir, caregroup, etc. And he asked which church I came from and I said: “New Creation Church.”

And he said he’s also a Christian and he also listens to Pastor Prince’s tapes that his friend from New Creation get for him on a regular basis. He himself plays the drums in the worship team in his church.

And I don’t have to tell you the direction the interview went. I don’t know how but I just got excited and started sharing with him about how Pastor has been preaching on resting in the Lord and how he must come for our services should he be free.

And then I said I also watched soccer, and it turned out, we supported the same club, and again, we started chatting about Liverpool Football Club.

Of course, aside from the chat, he did ask the usual questions, but I walked away from that office that day, feeling very pleasant. Just felt good.

I don’t know if I was going to be called back for a second interview but I chose to not worry about it. Rest in the Lord - that was the message for those two weeks.

So my boss did call me back for a second interview, where I got to meet his other senior partners of the company. And he related how there were many applications and he’s still reviewing the others.

I tried to stifle my disappointment on hearing that. Then he started showing me around the office, introducing me to his colleagues.

I thought to myself: “How weird? Didn’t you just say you have other applicants to review? Then why are you showing me around the office, as if I have already been accepted?”

I can’t control my curiosity and just had to pop that question: “Didn’t you say you are still reviewing the other applicants?”

To which he sat me down back at the meeting room and said: “Personally, I’m very keen to have you on. I choose to go with my heart and I think it shouldn’t be a problem to have you in by Thursday if everything works out.”

I just sat there dumbfounded as the words filtered through. It must be God, I keep mumbling to myself as I made my way to the bus-stop to take the bus home.

And so it was, the interview ended at slightly past 11 a.m. that Tuesday morning, and at 3 p.m. the same day, he called me and said: “Good news bro! You’re in but there’s a catch! We need you to report for work tomorrow!”

Praise the Lord! How could I say ‘no’? It’s a dream job!

When you think of it, they are looking for a copywriter with experience and I had none. And for one with no experience, I’m getting paid $2k month – very unusual for someone with no experience.

In the first place, you would be thinking you don’t stand a chance at all. Because I have no portfolio, just the compilation of news articles I wrote during my stint as a reporter at TODAY newspaper. But that had absolutely nothing to do with copywriting and the work involved in a creative agency.

And what did I do at SIA? Public relations - and for only three months. How much experience and relevance can that amount to?

It’s got to be His grace and His favour. Nothing less.

I’m really enjoying my work now. And my company is in Chinatown, a blessed location - a few stops from Little India, and near to Suntec as well.

Since 2001, when a friend brought me to New Creation for the annual Christmas service at the National Indoor Stadium, the first thing that attracted me was the choir.

Of course, I was still actively serving in my previous church at that time, so changing church never crossed my mind.

But I guessed God moved in His own special ways. I made a huge decision to leave my previous church after six years. It was very trying because of the many deep relationships I have formed with some brothers and sisters there.

I never regretted that decision. Neither the decision to join the choir. That was the first thing that occurred to me – that I finally can join the choir in New Creation (I had to wait six months of course).

I remembered this item “Via Dolorosa” that the choir performed some time back. It was just so awesome, and I remembered sitting in my seat, speechless, not moving, and the tears just flowed. I want to be a part of it.

I recalled how a caregroup leader once shared with me: “Do you know what so-called ‘sets apart’ worship leaders from the rest? Worship leaders are like the keys to unlock Heaven’s doors. They help to call down the presence of the Lord into the congregation.”

We are all worship leaders in our own right, I recall Wendy telling us one day after practice. And yes we are indeed. When we stand on stage, we are not just going though a routine. We are calling down the presence of the Lord into the congregation.

Something special happens when you stand there on the platform. I once shared with a sister from choir who was going through some difficult times. I used the exact words of what the caregroup leader said to me.

And I reminded her of the fact that we are Levites. I was listening to one of Pastor Prince’s old sermons one day, and he talked about how King Jehoshaphat sent the Levites in praise and worship in front of his troops as he set forth to battle with the Ammonites and Moabites.

And the Bible says, his enemies just started killing each other, and King Jehoshaphat and his troops ended up collecting spoils.

Pastor said: “Can you imagine these people approaching the enemies and singing ‘He’s good and His love endures forever!’ How do you have the courage to sing as you edge closer to evil, to your enemies?”

And yet, this is what the Levites did, the Bible says. Everytime I take to the stage, I just want to be filled in the presence of the Lord. Something special happens when you stand there. You tend to experience first-hand the awesome presence of God.

And I feel, praise and worship is the easiest way to get intimate with God, and for Him to just reach into Your heart and touch you on the inside. It’s a touch like no other.

I had to apologize to Mervyn one day after the fourth service. Because I felt Him just touch me, like an invisible hand reaching into your heart and touch me.

Tears just flowed down, I couldn’t project my voice properly because my throat is choked, and my face was a tearful wreck. I’m sure some of you have similar experiences too. Of course, I’m quite an emotional person myself, so maybe I’m more susceptible.

I cannot explain it – that intimate love of God that I’ve felt on so many occasions during praise and worship. That’s what the choir means to me.

Apart from the fact that I now know how to sing better, but that I’ve learnt and grown with fellow brothers and sisters.

And I have experienced good things, and be drawn closer to God through serving in the choir. I’ve never taken for granted the chance to serve in the choir. It is a privilege, and I will not have anyone or anything take this chance away from me.

Thank you Jesus. For indeed, You are good, and Your steadfast love endures forever. Amen.

* * *

It’s never too late. It’s always good to be early.

2006-04-17T10:02:00.000-07:00

April 18, 2006

I realise why I didn’t end up as a doctor. I also realise God kept me from being a doctor.

Nope, it’s not because I cannot handle blood. Nope, it’s not because I can’t steady my hands properly, so I would have been useless as a surgeon.

It’s because I realised that I don’t deal with death very well.

Last year, in 2005, I witnessed the passing on of a few people I know. Not that they are particularly close to me.

Two had been my neighbours, the other two were parents of two leaders in church.

The first funeral I attended last year – the guy was the elder brother of a pair of twins I knew since primary school. They stay on the twelfth floor, I stay on the eighth floor. Hence we have struck up a friendship over meeting one another in the lift.

He was a full-time Christian worker, a brother well-loved by God and a man of God himself. I don’t really know him that well as opposed to his younger brother.

But we do greet and exchange small talk when we meet. He passed away after he lost the fight against leukaemia. He was 27.

When I saw him lying there in the coffin, I struggled to hold back my tears. He looked completely different from the face I was familiar with – I couldn’t even recognise him. His face was grey and shrivelled, like a withered prune - a pale shadow of his former self. And he looked in pain, even in that rested state.

I couldn’t believe he died. I had a strange feeling when I returned home from work one night. I saw literally hundreds of youths at this funeral in the neighbouring block.

Strangely, I had a weird feeling.

The rumours of his passing on had reached my ears from this annoyingly kay-poh neighbour who lived next door to me. She had told my mum that one of the twins on the twelfth floor had passed away.

I refused to believe it - until one morning when I just left my house for work. I left my jacket behind and went back home to get it.

And that was when I ran into this brother’s mum at the lift landing. She told me the news herself and invited me to ‘see’ him for the last time.

The funeral was held in the neighbouring block because there was another one in our block too. She also told me hundreds of youths attended his funeral the previous night. The night when I had a strange feeling after coming home from work.

Those youths, she explained, were his sheep – they loved this shepherd, this brother who was both a teacher and a friend to them. And they came to pay their last respects.

I cracked at work several times that day. It’s weird. Well, because in the first place, I wasn’t that close to him.

But you could imagine how devastating it must have been for a mother to cremate her own child.

It’s coming to a year since her son had passed on. Nowadays I still run into his mum in the lift sometimes when she takes her dog out for a walk. And you can tell from her eyes that the sadness never left.

She’s still in grief. Quietly.

After attending two more funerals – both were parents of church leaders who are dear to me – I knew why I cracked. I don’t deal with death well.

The other neighbour who passed away stayed on my floor too – a loving father to a family of four and a wife who had a stroke a few years ago and was mostly paralysed since then. He had been taking care of her for the last few years. So his death came as a surprise to me. Because he’s supposed to be the healthy one.

Since then, I think the fear gripped me like a stranglehold. It seemed less on some days but whenever I watch TV shows like Grey’s Anatomy or even Lost, I remembered breaking down on a few occasions.

Okay, maybe I’m a sobby person. I think it’s quite a wimp for a guy to be that sobby. Maybe I inherited these genes from my mum.

In any case, I get affected by scenes of death very easily. I realised deep down, I was very fearful that I’m going to face what both my church leaders had faced and this two families have faced – dealing with the passing on of their loved ones.

I don’t know how I can do that. I remembered this story that a dear sister from choir forwarded to me in an email. It spoke of a story in which this man decided to date his mother for a change upon his wife’s request. His mum was all excited and got dressed up for the occasion, in all her jewels and pearls and finest fabric. She was going to have a date with her beloved son.

They went to this diner which brought back fond memories of the son’s childhood. This was the diner to which his mum would bring him as a kid for meals on special occasions like Christmas Eve or to celebrate his birthdays.

His mum enjoyed the date. Little did the son know that this was to be their last dinner together at that diner. She passed on one week after their date.

A few months later, the son was back at the diner with his wife. And the waiter at that diner, who recognised the boy, passed him a note.

It was from his mum. It read: “Dear Charles, I enjoyed our date so much. Thank you for the meal. I had a great time. Now I know I might not have the chance to have dinner here with you again. So I’ve paid for this meal. Have a great time with Danielle. I love you son.”

The son broke down after reading the note.

I broke down too after reading her email. I don’t want to lose my parents. I don’t want to deal with the loss of loved ones. But I also learnt that hey, it’s really time we should shower our loved ones and cherish them while they are still alive. No use shedding tears and bemoaning all the “What-ifs” after they passed on.

I was struck with a terrible illness a couple of weeks ago. It was a serious bout of flu and took me two weeks to recover. During those two weeks, I had to take MC from work for several days, and I felt so weak and vegetative.

I know it might be a bit exaggerating but at times, the fever would hit me and I felt my whole head was going to explode.

1st April was April Fools’ Day. I wasn’t very much amused myself. That night, the fever broke again, and it was terrible. I felt energy sapping and drifting away from me. It felt almost like dying. I couldn’t sleep and just lay there on my bed with tears quietly rolling down my cheeks.

Eventually I gave up and woke my mum up at around 6 a.m. in the morning (I had been up the whole night) to take me to a hospital.

I was given injections for blood samples to be analysed for possibility of dengue fever. Then I was sent home.

I got better the next day though I still felt weak. But thoughts were racing through my mind. That fear gripped me again.

My mum was going to leave home to help out my dad in his fruit shop in the afternoon when I called out her name.

And I just had to tell her. I held her hand in mine, and I spoke my mind – everything that was going through my heart and mind for the past couple of days.

I told her about my fear, that whenever she gets mad or upset and say things like “It’s better that I die…rather than to suffer like this…”, I feel a knot in my throat. I begged her and made her promise not to say things like that again.

I told her I loved her – very very much. I think it freaked her out. Because I was saying things that a dying person will say to his or her loved ones at their last breath. She kept asking me what was going on.

As I related all those words in my heart to her, I broke down again. And she cried too. But I wanted to tell her I loved her. Now if you’re not familiar with Asian culture, we don’t say things like these much. Because Asian parents show their love in very subtle ways. They don’t say words like: “I love you.” They don’t kiss you, they don’t hug you. The closest you will get is my mum touching my face and assuring me that everything is going to be fine.

So this revelation to her gripped her with fear. She might have thought I was going away…

But I want to let her know all these. Tell her I love her very much. I don’t want to look back on my life with regrets. Or to say “oh, if only she were alive, I would have spent time with her more” or think about all the loving words you can say to her.

I want her to hear it. And I’m glad I did that. I’m glad I poured out my heart to her.

Perhaps that fear still lingers, but I’m praying more often than I used to when I was younger – you know, when you’re in your adolescence and early twenties, you prefer to spend time hanging out with friends. You despise the idea of being seen with your parents even.

I’m praying that the Lord will bring salvation to my entire family. Because I don’t want to part with her. I want to see them in Heaven. I plead the blood of Jesus on them and I prayed for their protection going in or coming out.

Yes, that fear remains, and sometimes, it overpowers me so much. But I’m praying, and I want to use whatever that remains of my time on earth (before we get raptured or we passed on), to shower them with love.

Start cherishing the time you have with your loved ones today.

It’s never too late. It’s always good to be early.

# # #

畅所欲言：新戏哪比旧戏好？

2006-03-07T08:24:00.000-08:00

This commentary was written in mid-August 2002 and appeared in the Aug 26, 2002 issue of the Nanyang Chronicle, my university campus newspaper. I was asked by the Chinese editor to write a commentary piece on a topic I felt strongly about, and this topic came to mind immediately. I've always enjoyed watching the Mandarin drama serials produced by then Singapore Broadcasting Corporation in the 1980s to early 90s , later renamed Television Corporation of Singapore in the mid-90s. Now, it is known as MediaCorp Singapore. These drama serials had a great impact and was a major influence on my childhood and teenage years, and I remembered how my knowledge about Singapore and its history was largely gleaned from watching these serials, not to mention the learning of the language itself.

For those of you who have watched and loved these serials, hope you enjoy the commentary piece below:-

畅所欲言：新戏哪比旧戏好？

文：陈维文

去年八月，新传媒举办“ 戏剧节”，回顾二十年来播放过的电视连续剧，让我与周围的朋友都陷入“ 怀旧之情”。

对二十来岁的我们来说，电视连续剧可说是陪着我们一起成长。

谈起以前的剧集、主题曲，发现大家对他们仍记忆犹新。

小时候常听父母亲说以前的歌比较好听，并对现在的流行歌曲表示不满，我总觉得是他们老了。

毕竟，事过境迁，警察都不穿短裤了，怎么还墨守成规呢？

现在，常听周遭的朋友说以前的戏比较好看。想想，是我们老了，还是以前的戏的确比较好看？

以前的电视剧常以“ 小市民的生活” 作为题材，故事内容都很本土化，所以能够产生共鸣。

早期的《新兵小传》、《小飞鱼》和《雾锁南洋》，虽然制作技术和拍摄手法以现在的标准来衡量略嫌粗糙，演员的服装造型都“ 土土” 的，剧情却简单纯朴，很容易打动观众的心。

八十年代到九十年代初期的电视剧在采纳故事题材方面较多样化，技术方面也大有进步，但最令人难忘的是它塑造了很多深入民心的人物角色。

《红头巾》的阿桂（曾慧芬饰）、《芝麻绿豆》的二姑（蔡平开饰）、《三面夏娃》的 Bo Bo （郑惠玉饰）、《早安老师》的 Aiyoyo（陈莉萍饰），都陪着你我走过了少年时期。

故事情节和人物描写都是过去新传媒电视剧制作的焦点，也说明了为什么他们多年来还继续牵引着无数颗新加坡人的心。

随着电缆电视的出现，新传媒剧集面对更多海外剧集的竞争。

为了打进海外市场，新传媒邀请了几位资深但却已过了“ 保存期限” 的香港艺人，与新传媒的“A”极演员同台演出，在套用某歌王歌后的流行歌曲作为电视主题曲，成了新传媒拍摄“ 重头戏” 的楷模。

不过，观众对这类“ 大制作” 的反应不一定理想。

就拿《金枕头》来说，虽得到不俗的收视率，却面对观众的诸多批评。

武侠连续剧的“ 大制作” 就更难令观众满足，因为我们总喜欢拿港台制作与新传媒制作做比较。

看过刘德华和陈玉莲主演的《神雕侠侣》的观众都会忍不住拿李铭顺和范文芳与前者做比较，说长道短。

新传媒的特长，还是在于制作一些以新加坡的历史或风土民情为主题的写实剧。

也许是因为这些剧集的题材与新加坡人息息相关吧，比起那些似乎在模仿港剧的“ 大制作” 的题材如复仇、股票风波等，更脍炙人口。

《和平的代价》、《潮州家族》、《客家之歌》、《豆腐街》、《牛车水人家》和《出路》都是些利用了新加坡的历史和风土民情的上好佳作。

小兵立大功的例子也不少，例如《家人有约》、《浓浓咖啡乡》、《考试家族》和《 1 加1 等于3 》虽然没拉对到外国取景，本着曲折的故事情节和深入的人物刻画，成了扣人心弦的生活写实剧。

甚至超过100 集的《荷兰村》，看似在模仿台湾的“ 阿成“ ，却深受国人的好评，成功的秘诀无味是它很容易引起观众的共鸣。

诚然，人们生活习惯的改变，对本土电视剧在人们生活中所扮演的角色起了一定的影响。

以前人们闲着没事就会看电视，现在有更多娱乐的管道，如互联网，电缆电视等。

电视剧在人们生活中所扮演的角色也随着淡薄了。

梁文福曾为新传媒第八播道写了一首主题曲，歌词里就有“ 我看呀看着电视，越来越有意思，诉说我生命故事” 一句。

的确，我们都是看电视连续剧成长的，是否现在还觉得“ 越看越有意思”，这我就不知道了。

很肯定的是，本地电视剧都曾在你我生命的日记留下了各自的笔记。

昔日的 Aiyoyo 老师, 今日的“ 婉婉”，我们都随着她在剧里的遭遇哀哭、欢笑、发怒、恐惧。

二十年后的您，还会记得多少部电视剧的内容、能记得多少个电视人物的名字，或是哼得出多少电视剧的主题曲呢？

本土制作的电视连续剧会否仍是“ 我的生活，我的戏”，不只要靠电视机构的努力，也要看身为观众的您，愿不愿意支持优秀的本地制作了。

# # #

My 27th Birthday Celebration wif my NTU Clique

2006-01-27T07:11:00.000-08:00

Date: 23 Jan 2006
Venue: Indonesian Seafood Restaurant, Brewerkz at Clarke Quay
Time: 7.30 - 10.30 p.m.

Hey, it's 10 days belated but it's the thought and the great company that counts. After more than 5 years, we're still together from the day we stepped into School of Communication and Information, NTU in July 2000...Let's keep the bond going! Hopefully, we'll have gatherings with our sposuse and kids in 10 years' time...Gosh!!! I'm 27 already!!! *screams*

"Look what I've got as prezzies!!! A new wallet and key pouch!!! Thanks everyone, and especially to Julia for her great taste! Now you can haf the whole Tower of beer, oops, I mean iced tea, to yourself..."

"How much's the bill? HQ will pay..." - Weiwen
"Right...very funny Boon...very funny." - HQ

"Julia, what do you think you're doing?!?"

"Don't you dare touch the rice! It's all mine!" - Jamie

I swear we're hafing ice lemon tea...Cheers!!!

A little late New Year greeting...

2006-01-24T01:30:00.000-08:00

It's the NEW YEAR!!! YAY!!! Boy am I glad 2006 is here and 2005 is over!!! Why? I'll explain later...

Anyway, it's 2006, and I'm expecting a year of restoration. I meant to create this blog to share my walk with God, and also to share my revelations. But looking at the things other blog on theirs, I realise mine is a tad too serious and stale. And yes, you can still share the Word of God and touch lives, and whine, gossip and post funny stuff as and when it happens in my life. So why not?

I'm just going to post whatever stuff I like. You don't agree? Get a life!

Well, 2005 just came and went. And I shared pretty much on my job predicament. Thank God I found a new job, on the first working day of 2006! So you see, restoration is already happening! And I want God to restore to me the "years that the locusts have devoured".

Really, that's how I feel for the whole of last year. I seem to be going back to Square One from the day I graduated, and realised I have to look for a job and get out and earn my bread.

Just came back from a reunion dinner with my university clique. Well, everyone seems to be doing fine. HQ is moving on to a new job after realising he's been grossly underpaid at a very popular company whose name I shall not disclosed. JC is still flying around the world as an air stewardess with a world-class (think they always brand themselves like that, and have been doing so for the past 40 years) airline. GW is as contented and chirpy as ever, being a Mrs now. LX is seriously contemplating moving on but at least he's still happily employed. Well...seems everyone is going somewhere, except me.

Oh, I forgot to mention that it's supposed to be a Belated Birthday Celebration for yours truly, but I think it's better to brand it as a "reunion dinner" since Chinese New Year is around the corner anyway.

So we didn't really do much. Just had dinner, went for a couple of drinks after that. It's weird, because no one really talks. I hope we'll still together after another 10 years. It'll be nice to see a gathering with our wives and husbands and children. Sweet scenario. But on the basis of the dour night yesterday, I have my doubts.

What are my hopes for the new year? Hmmm...let's try to get this career of mine back on track. Not that it has started off in the first place. Like I said, I felt like I was back to Square One and this is my first proper job.

Baaah...forget about the 'wasted' years...I want to do that. And move on....

But you know how it's like...it's inevitable to dwell on it sometimes...

Happy thoughts happy thoughts!!! I received a renoma wallet and key pouch for my birthday, so YAY!!! Haha, my wallet and key pouch are both in a derelict state, so thank God for JC. She has good tatse. She chose the gift since she's not flying till Wednesday.

Happy thoughts!!! I'm going to lead worship later during caregroup. I enjoy leading worship. It's a privilege and it's blessed me so much. The songs I chose mirrored my hopes and dreams for 2006!!! That it will be an exceedingly abundant year of restoration, and no matter what comes, I'll lean on Him to bring us through.

Okies, I'm happy I blogged something...Happy Prosperous New Year everyone!!!

P.S.: The text is in red cuz Chinese New Year mah...everything that is red signifies PROSPERITY!!! Of course, if you're New Creation-trained, then you'll know it signifies the Blood of the Lamb!!!

Give Thanks

2005-11-30T09:19:00.000-08:00

Give Thanks
01 December 2005, 1.56 a.m.

I guess I've chosen the perfect timing for this post since we are in the season of celebrating Thanksgiving (or rather, for those in the States, we don't really celebrate that here in Singapore).

For a start, remember the time when Pastor Mark shared his testimony during a service about how his financial situation turned around, how God turned his debts around in just one day. But of course, during that period of tribulation, he shared how his mum had turned against him and all that heartache. But the crux of the message he wanted to bring across, was to give thanks, even in times of need, even in the midst of difficulties or challenges.

I recalled Pastor Mark saying how one day, he was just resting on his couch, and he started to recount all the things he still possesses. Yes, he was still in heavy debt back then, (he wasn't a pastor yet). He was staring at the ceiling fan, and he started giving thanks to the Lord for that fan. And he walked to his garage, saw his car, and gave thanks for the car that was going to be towed away soon by the debtors. And soon, he found himself giving thanks to every household item he could count in his house.

I'm sure those of us who have heard and seen Pastor Mark preach just love this man of God amen? He's such an anointed and humorous preacher. Yet he always comes across as so humble and personable.

Well, while I don't have the habit of giving thanks for my household items, I was impressed by his message as I lay on my bed one night. I just felt like giving thanks to the pastors in my church. I remembered Pastor Buddy Bell (oooooooooohhhh...the infinite value of God's humble servants...) preach that it's good to esteem and give due recognition to your pastors. So there I was, unable to sleep, and started giving thanks to the pastors in our church. I realised we do have quite a huge team of pastors in our church - our well-armed heavenly and super-anointed brigade of preachers.

And strangely, after I've finished giving thanks, I decided, oh well, I might as well thank my ministry leaders as well. So I prayed:"Lord, thank you for Wendy...(our choir director)...Lord, thank you for Veron...(our church's publications editor)..."

Then I thought, oh yes, the wonderful brothers and sisters in our choir, those who have really been there for me and shared in my tears and joy, and I started thanking them too.

Then I realised I haven't thanked my parents yet, how could I have forgotten about them, so I thanked the Lord for them.

Oh yes, then it was my caregroup's turn, including my leader and the lovely people in my caregroup, and I soon realised I have begun giving thanks to almost anyone I could think of, who had some influence on my lives, including my former employers, my university clique (lovely bunch of dudes and babes).

It felt good after saying all those thanks. I did not pray super-long prayers, just giving thanks to the Lord for these people. I felt a peace deep within (I wonder if that's to do with the fact that I'm getting sleepy too...). It's as if something lifted from my heart, and it's a wonderful serene feeling.

It's important to give thanks, not because the Bible instructs us to do so. I remember an email a sister sent to me recently, about how this son decided to date his mum for a change, upon instruction by his wife. And so the son did as his wife told him. And his mum was all dressed up for the occasion, and thanked his son for such a wonderful time together. Just like old times... And little did the son know that this was to be their last dinner together as a week later, she went home to be with the Lord. The tear-jerker was the letter his mother wrote to the son one week after he went to the same restaurant for dinner with his wife. The mother had instructed the waiter to hand the letter to the son after he was about to pay the bill. The letter read:" Dear son. I know I might not have the chance to thank you for taking me out to dinner. So I've paid the bill for the next time you take your wife here. I enjoyed myself that night. Thank you so much, son."

Hey beloveds, do remember to thank the people around you, especially your loved ones. I'm finding such a joy to spend time with my parents nowadays. I look forward to having family dinner together. I wasn't like that last time. I used to prefer dining out with my church friends on Sundays, and would hang out till late at night. Cherish your loved ones while they are still around and give thanks for the little things they do in your lives. Don't wait till they are in their old age, and soon to be passing on before you regret the chance to do so.

You know, my mum did something sweet for me recently. One night, I felt my stomach rumbling and decided to cook instant noodles for myself. I rummaged the fridge looking for eggs and whatever ingredients I could add to make my noodles more palatable. To my delight, I found some dried fish and shrimps. My mum, who was a light sleeper, was woken up by the noise I was making in the kitchen. I told her to get back to sleep and assured her that I could manage on my own. While I left the water to boil, I went back to chat on my computer. When I returned to check on the noodles, I found the dried shrimps and fish gone, replaced by a plate of fish fillets. I had no idea where the fish fillets were from but I knew my mum must have fished them out from the fridge. I just rushed into my mum's bedroom and planted a kiss on her cheek.

Okies, I know you're sniggering but that's so sweet of her. I used to take such things for granted, and would miss them totally. I thanked the Lord for stirring my heart to be mindful of all these little things. And in life, it's always the little things that make the biggest difference.

Wouldn't you agree?

2005-10-20T23:00:00.000-07:00

SCI Class of 2004 - Our Graduation Clique

Fall Afresh On Me

2005-10-20T22:56:00.000-07:00

Fall Afresh On Me
10.46 p.m., 20 October 2005

I’m going to be out of a job. Again. Twice in the space of ten months.

Perhaps some of you have experienced worse. I don’t know.

Strangely enough, this time it didn’t affect me the way it did when I resigned from my position at SQ last year.

And it’s weird because this time round, I didn’t want to go. My present company didn’t want me, so to speak. I don’t mince my words, despite all the words they use to dress up the fact that they don’t find you suitable. The bottomline was that they didn’t think I fitted the bill.

I have all the reasons to feel sad actually. But I’m not.

All the conditions are so good at my current company. The dressing is casual, the colleagues are nice, the boss is a friendly and personable dude.

I remembered the excitement that gripped me six months ago when I was told that this company wanted me.

I felt God’s grace in every single area of influence that led to me being hired, from the first and second interview, the things we talked about during the interview, the instant rapport I seemed to have established with my interviewer (which is my boss of course), and subsequently my colleagues.

I thought, there and then, this is like a dream job. And I made no attempts to hide my delight, gleefully sharing with any friend from church who was willing to listen.

And I even wrote a super long testimonial and shared it in front of the entire choir during one of our practices. Frankly, I hesitated to pen down this entry because of this.

I think the reason I hesitated to share this is because I felt like a failure. I mean there I was sharing a wonderful testimony just six months earlier, and here I am, failing to carry through that testimony, not to mention carving out a glorious career in this company.

After I shared that testimonial, many brothers and sisters-in-Christ actually came up to me after the choir practice and told me they felt so encouraged by my testimony.

And even for months after that, those in the choir who don’t know me (our choir is pretty big, just for your information) remembered the testimony I shared.

Initially, upon hearing that my boss decided not to retain me, I sort of took it with a feeling of resignation. Because there were actually a series of events that led to this untenable state I’m in.

I shall not go into detail but suffice to say, it boiled down to my inability to manage clients’ expectations and letting my emotions rule my head. Of course, they were pretty nasty clients. My boss gave me a chance although he did admit that I had improved tremendously since then.

But it was perhaps too little too late.

I guess I couldn’t really blame him. It was almost inevitable and it was just a matter of time. But quietly, I was still hoping he would change his mind, and clung on to every wee bit of hope there might be. Just counting the days I suppose.

And so it was, the week before last, my boss called me into the conference room and broke the news to me. And I was treated to the “golden handshake” for the second time.

I felt a sense of injustice. I asked Abba: why Lord? Why a second time like this in the space of such a short time? Am I really that lousy?

But strangely, I wasn’t feeling the "sad" kind of sad. It was more like injustice to me. I felt that I haven’t been vindicated, and I felt vulnerable.

I can’t explain why I didn’t shed a tear because normally, things like this do cause sadness. Perhaps it was an inner belief that though I don’t know what lies ahead of me, I know my Heavenly Father who clothes the lilies of the field and feeds the birds in the air, will surely take care of me.

Is that something I used to comfort myself, or really something that has been so ingrained in me from how I was brought up in church?

So I was saying I ought to be sad about it. But I was not.

The last time something of a similar magnitude happened, it was when the senior pastor from my previous church said very hurtful words to me when I told her I wanted to leave that church for my present one.

She told me about how disappointed she was that I never realised the potential she saw in me as a cell group leader, and how she thought I had lost my hunger for Christ and the Word.

Those words cut deep into my heart when they came forth from her mouth. But I kept a straight face, and I thought I did a pretty good job at controlling my emotions.

Because it was only a day later when I was in the shower, and everything that was said hit me like a lightning bolt. And I just cried my heart out in the shower.

I haven’t cried so much for a long time, and I was genuinely very very hurt.

You know the best part about crying in the shower? You don’t know whether the water comes from the shower head or from your eyes. And the slushing sound of the shower just drowns out your sobbing.

I may sound very melodramatic here but it’s all true, and you know what, it’s a pretty liberating feeling.

Okay, back to my job. What I’m trying to say is that I wondered if my absence of emotion, or to be precise, sadness, was some sort of a delayed reaction that would hit me like it did in my shower the last time round.

I think deep down, I have started questioning if I am a failure.

You know what, this precious sister, whom I shared the news with, texted me an SMS about more than a week later. She always has this knack of sending me the right messages at the right time. Of course, not all of them registered in my super-fast mind on first reading.

So it was, in her message, she wrote: “Your failures are your qualifications for God’s favour. The favour that astonished not only in that particular area but double in all other needs. Boast in your weaknesses and failures! For they are being manifested. The best results are not yet to be seen…It is still being restored and more abundantly!”

When I first saw it, the message just zoomed past me. I was like…ermm…come again? And I replied her SMS, joking that she must have been zapped big time by the anointing of the Holy Spirit. I also asked her what she meant in her message.

And she replied with a subsequent verbose string of words:” You are free to fail. Whether it’s in career, family or relationship. You have the favour of God when you fail coz it’s when you can’t, God can. There is simply no real definition of ‘best result’ coz the following blessing is always always better than the previous one. It is always renewed and restored!”

Again, my super-fast mind just stared at the words and yes, I felt very encouraged but that's about it. And truth be told, the magnitude and impact of what she had written didn’t really struck me until this evening.

I was sharing with a friend about my favourite song from our church album “You Gave”. It is called “Fall Afresh On Me” and it never fails to bring a stirring in my heart and sometimes, wonderful tears. Some of my favourite lyrics in that song goes like this:

“Fall afresh on me,
Move within my heart.
Let Your tenderness consume me.
Pour Your love on me,
Like rain upon my face,
Till everything I am,
Is lost in Your embrace,
Fall afresh on me.”

I badly needed a fresh anointing of God’s love for me, and I needed His comfort and big hands so desperately. I needed Him to fall afresh on me because I was feeling so lousy and helpless…like a failure.

And every word in those two messages sent by this sister just made sense to me at that very juncture.

Subconsciously, I have begun questioning myself as a failure, and thinking how badly I sucked.

But those words, it all made sense to me now. God’s favour will exceedingly abundantly exceed me failures. And it is when I can’t do it, that I know He can.

Thank you sister for bringing His Word to me in the season! I’m going to just let His love fall afresh on me, and rest in His exceeding abundant favour that will be restored and renewed seven times over!

Whatever that comes, whatever that lies ahead, I shall choose to rest and trust in His loving hands, that surely, he makes me lie down in green pastures and leads me beside the still waters!

Hallelujah!!! Praise the Lord!!! Praise Jesus!!!

2005-10-20T22:55:00.000-07:00

Pastor Prince and NTU Caregroup, Church Camp 2004.

2005-10-20T22:45:00.000-07:00

Pastor Chin and NTU Caregroup, Church Camp 2004.

Rosh Hashanah

2005-10-05T14:45:00.000-07:00

Rosh Hashanah

It’s Rosh Hashanah again! And for the uninitiated or those whose faces are contorted to display a “HUH???” look, Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year.

Yes, I know we are not Jewish, but the Old Testament is also part of the Bible, amen? And we know all things in the Old Testament points to the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Like what Pastor always says, “The Old Testament is Christ hidden; the New Testament is Christ revealed.”

Anyway, just happened to stumble upon this song on our church website; and it’s uncanny that it talks about Rosh Hashanah, and the images and lyrics really touch me, so I would like to share this with you.

To listen to the song, click on this link: http://www.newcreation.org.sg/minmusic4.htm

Grace and peace be with you all,

Shalom

Weiwen

Rejoice O Israel (Shalom Jerusalem)

I behold a city on a hill,
A nation torn by war,
But in that place Jehovah says,
His grace has been poured forth.

I behold a people who
Are waiting for the Lord
For He will come with trumpet sounds,
As nations watch in awe.

Shalom Jerusalem,
Messiah will come.
He’ll wipe away your tears and pain,
Rejoice, daughter of Zion.

Shalom Jerusalem,
Peace be within your walls,
Yeshua will return to reign
In majesty and power.

Chorus:
When we see the Son of God,
Descending from the clouds,
He’ll be arrayed in light,
Shining glorious and bright,
On New Jerusalem

Shalom Jerusalem,
Messiah will come.
He’ll wipe away your tears and pain,
Rejoice, daughter of Zion.

Shalom Jerusalem,
Peace be within your walls,
Yeshua will return to reign
In majesty and power.

He’ll wipe away your tears and pain,
Rejoice, O Israel.

Karen Lim © New Creation Church

Praise Him!

2005-09-21T10:53:00.000-07:00

Recently, a sister-in-Christ shared with me some challenges she has been facing. Though my super-fast mind was racing around with solutions of what we can do, I eventually told her that the greatest thing we can do is to turn to the Lord. Let Him take over, and on our own part, we can cover ourselves in prayer.

I cannot possibly imagine the pain and hurt she must be going through. Many of us often think of prayer as something like a ‘last resort’. It doesn’t rank high among our list of priorities because, by human nature, of the flesh, we are predisposed to think of solutions, to want to do something about it, be it difficulties, conflicts or challenges. I have been guilty of this several times myself.

Yet the Lord showed me something that gave me a fresh revelation of His love for us this morning. But first let me give you a bit of background.

The Lord impressed upon me to send this verse to the above-mentioned sister, taken from Philippians 4:6-7 – “Do not be anxious in anything but in everything, by prayer and supplication, let your requests be made known unto the Lord, and the peace of our Lord Jesus, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus”.

Of course, you may notice that the words of the verse are not the exact ones because I was trying to type it from memory. It was the first Bible verse that about seven years ago, a sister from my previous church had given it to me after I came back to the Lord after more than two years of “back-sliding” and tears and trials. The verses were written on a small little card that goes into my wallet, and I still kept it in my small Chinese Bible.

I loved these verses, which are always the first to come to my mind whenever I face any challenges myself. The peace of God – oh how great it is – if you could actually begin to understand what Jesus said when He said, “Peace, I give to you, not as the world gives.” It’s a peace that transcends all human understanding, that is like a nest of baby birds in a crevice of a cliff in the midst of a thunderstorm. Picture that in your mind – I’ve got a poster of that picture myself!

This morning, while reading Darlene Zschech’s book Extravagant Worship on my way to work, those same two verses Philippians 4:6-7 jumped out to me on those pages. Darlene was describing the pain and heartbrokenness she went through after she lost her child which she was carrying for twelve weeks, THREE DAYS before she was supposed to set off on a USA tour with Hillsong church.

Can you imagine the pain and sorrow, and she said the last thing she wanted to do was to sing. Yet she heard the Holy Spirit inside her keep prompting her to Sing. And she did, not out of her mind, she said, but out of something deeper from inside of her. I can imagine that tears must have flowed freely as she was singing.

And I realise that the Lord had given me an answer to something I was subconsciously asking for: what can I do? how can I help this sister? what can I tell her?
The answer is so Him: yes, prayer is one thing. But He wants us to rejoice, sing unto the Lord, praise Him and shout! Darlene had given examples from the Bible of how King Jehoshaphat placed worshippers to sing “Give thanks to the Lord, for His mercies endures forever!” before his army. Note that at that time he was doing this, he was leading the army of Israel to battle against three nations that have conspired to come against him. In another example, Darlene described how Joshua led the children of Israel to break down the walls of Jericho. We are all familiar with that story, but hey, all of us have our own walls, either we set it up ourselves or it’s something the Devil purpose to place before us to trap us, separate us and turn us away from the love of our Lord Jesus. But the children of Israel, having circled the walls of Jericho seven times, let out a huge victorious shout and the walls crumbled.

Hey beloveds, do you know that when you come before Him and praise Him, Abba Father rushes to you immediately. In fact He never left you nor forsook you. David penned his awesome psalms of praise and worship when he was fleeing from the hands of his own son Absalom. But in the dark of night, when everything seems to go against him, he sang. Praises that stirred the Lord’s heart, worship that is offered with nothing much but delights our Lord with everything.

Praise Him! Because praises are like the swords and spears that cuts every other way as you sing and shout to proclaim from a position of faith, who He is and what He has done. If praises are the weapons of our spiritual warfare, then worship is like our sweet murmurings to the Lord, our love letters in songs, or just a warm blanket on a cold winter night. Of course, both praises and worship can fulfil the same two functions. But the important point is this, praise and worship is powerful prayer! Awesome power! It’s not the “appetizer” before service or the “icing on the cake” after a sermon. Many people in our church don’t even turn up for praise and worship. It’s not the “interlude” time that allows you to make a last-minute dash to the Rock before the pastor preaches.

The Lord delights in our praises, and He wants us to sing praises to Him even in the midst of our trials. Because like what Darlene shared, our Abba Daddy inhabits in our praises, and in His presence, where He is, there is healing, there is refreshing, there is restoration, there is prosperity, there is grace and mercy, there is hope, there is peace, there is joy, and most of all, there is His awesome personal touch – His love! When we praise Him, He rushes to embrace us in His presence, in His love. And there we find everything we need – in Him!

This song came to my mind as I was rounding up the chapter before I exit the train:

I give You praise, for You deserve it,
I give You praise, for what You’ve done,
I give You praise, for You are able,
I give You praise till I’m overcome

I give You praise, when the sun is shining,
I give You praise, in the dark of night,
I give You praise, when the battle rages,
I give You praise till it works out right!

(So) The shout of the King is among us,
God lives here, in our praises,
The shout of the King is among us,
Praise Him, Praise Him,
Praise Him in everything!

Heavens open as we sing Your praise,
Angels join us as we praise Your Name.

What a truly awesome song! And the Holy Spirit just gave me another revelation as I was typing the lyrics of this song. You know the meaning of “the shout of the King”? It’s not our shout, it’s the King’s shout, our Daddy’s shout! It is His victorious cry against our enemies, proclaiming His triumph over all. It’s the shout of our Lord Jesus Christ when He cries out “It is finished!” Praise Him! It is finished because He did that complete work on the Cross.

Praise Him!!! Worship Him!!! Hallelujah!!!

More Than Words

2005-09-09T00:50:00.000-07:00

I love writing. Shall I state this on record again? Okay, I love writing.

I write to express my emotions, to share personal experiences, to show-off sometimes perhaps, or just to pen a page of my life as a record.

It’s been a while since I last blogged. And what I’m going to talk about probably has nothing with how I started this entry.

I was just flipping through the pages of this month's NTU Alumni newsletter, that gets sent to my mailbox. Saw a couple of my university school mates being featured. Apparently, they had won some prize for their project in some Festival of the Arts in the United States. *gasps*

Yes, another of my school mates is now an accomplished host and regular DJ on one of Singapore’s most popular Chinese radio stations. And she even got to host Project Superstar.

Another senior just won the Straits Times Young Journalist of the Year Award, and he was also being featured in the newsletter.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not dying to get my face printed on some publication or newspaper. I guess it’s just one of those inevitable stuff you do – you make comparisons, you like to know how your peers are doing compared to yourself.

Of course, there are also school mates who remained bums; but most, I suspect, are leading a pretty decent life. I guess my point is, perhaps, I have always dreamt about doing big stuff, not so much fame and fortune stuff. But just big stuff.

I have always wanted to become a war reporter, or those reporters that get sent abroad to cover the Asian Tsunami or the Hurricane Katrina or the 9/11 incident. It’s not about the fame, it’s about telling other peoples’ stories. It’s about letting other people know the plight of these people. I’m never one of those news hounds, whose major ambition in life is to break another’s life. I know there are reporters like that out there, but thankfully, not many of them are in Singapore.

I still remembered how I thought I heard Pastor just blurted out the words “be a journalist” out of the blue during a particular night of bible studies. I know one dear brother remembered that incident because he told me excitedly afterwards that he knew that was for me the moment those words were uttered. I guess in the back of my mind, I like to believe him too.

Am I contented with where I am right now? I think we can never be contented. But compared to my peers, am I happy doing what I’m doing? I guess it’s not as “glam” as reporting, so to speak. Journalism has its own woes and drags too.

I’m still doing writing, albeit, in a different form. I saw how a certain lady can get famous just by blogging. I wondered if I can too. Or rather, I should say I just have this desire to publish something, you know, write a book, get it published, so people can read and enjoy it.

I remembered getting a phone-call from the NTU School of Communication and Information alumni one day during office hours. Apparently, they are trying to keep a record of recent graduates. After I’ve furnished her with my particulars and things like, when I graduated and what I majored in and what I am doing now (my job, that is), she managed to slip in the question: “So have you won any awards?”

That question really caught me totally by surprise. I mouthed a few words I think, something like: “Well, I hoped so…I guess.” And then as if to check if she got her facts right, she followed up with a: "So that means you haven't won any awards." I don’t know what to make of it. I know in my line of work, there is a possibility to win an award in the creative circles, like perhaps the Crowbar or the Singapore Creative Awards, because nowadays they give you an award for everything. It’s like those “stars” that you collect when you were in primary school, for example, after you get full points for your spelling. It serves to validate what you’ve accomplished. Like a plaque or testimony.

I ask myself: are those really that important? I mean, of course, it takes time to build a portfolio and all, and yes, of course, to win an award is like making a statement to the whole world, in my case, the advertising or creative circles world that “you have ARRIVED”. I remembered my boss ask me this question casually over a conversation in his car: “So do you aspire to be the best copywriter in Singapore?”

I didn’t answer him. Because that question hit me with the same magnitude as that question from the caller from the school alumni. Where am I now, at this point in time? Probably next to zilch in terms of career wise.

But I just love writing. And I haven’t given up hope of one day writing a book, maybe a few books, and publishing them of course. I just want to enjoy the writing without thinking whether what I write will win any awards or not.

Let me say that again: I love writing.

2005-08-22T09:27:00.000-07:00

All in the family! My beautiful and handsome cousins, Chinese New Year 2005.

2005-08-20T11:39:00.000-07:00

Me and my uni clique!

2005-08-20T09:34:00.000-07:00

SCI Class of 2004 say Cheese!

2005-08-20T09:31:00.000-07:00

Sweet Nikki-chan and me, Japanese Nite, Ben Gen Camp 2005.

2005-08-20T09:30:00.001-07:00

Choir Lunar New Year Dinner Gathering, Feb 2005.

2005-08-20T09:30:00.000-07:00

The NTU 'B' Caregroup, HM5, Kuantan, Dec 2004.

2005-08-20T09:29:00.001-07:00

Lao Yu Sheng at East Coast Park, Lunar New Year Day 2, 2005.

2005-08-20T09:29:00.000-07:00

Celebrating my birthday, NTU 'B' Caregroup, 2005

2005-08-20T09:28:00.003-07:00

Look! No Feet! NTU CG @ Tribes 2004.

2005-08-20T09:28:00.002-07:00

Me and the 2 Timos.

2005-08-20T09:28:00.001-07:00

Celebrating Anil's birthday, Church Camp 2004.

2005-08-20T09:28:00.000-07:00

Happy dudes from NTU at Mid Valley Shopping Centre, Kuala Lumpur, Church Camp 2004.

2005-08-20T09:26:00.000-07:00

Celebrating Gail's 23rd birthday, 2004.

2005-08-20T09:25:00.000-07:00

Philadelphia CG Christmas Retreat, my previous church, Dec 2002.

Of Flu Bugs and Hungry Ghosts

2005-08-04T11:55:00.000-07:00

It irks me that I have been croaking for the past 5 days. Yes, I’ve been bitten by the flu bug. And it took my voice as well. It’s not so much the fact that I can’t talk properly or audibly (yes I know it’s hard to believe that) but it’s the fact that I can’t sing that really irritates me.

I went to see the doctor on Wednesday, after holding out for two days and rationalising that with the Festival of Praise coming up over the weekend, I want to regain my voice to be able to sing my heart out to the Lord. Wednesday’s choir practice was a “torture”. I sat through the practice hearing my awfully out-of-tune voice and worse still, I can’t reach the notes when it came to practising for the item on Aug 14. Oh yes, the item, please, Voice, come back to me…

The flu bug hit my office pretty bad. At last count, there are more sick people than healthy people, all smitten, excuse me, bitten by the bug. A colleague commented that as soon as she stepped into the office, she can almost feel the bugs swarming around her. So yea, I succumbed to having to visit the doctor, well, not exactly, because I’m thankful for not having to report for work. *grins*

I realise during this period of illness, I really miss singing. I sing before I go to bed. Just lying down there on my bed and humming some worship songs before I lull into lala-land. And interestingly, a choir leader taught us to lie flat on our back and choose one fast song and one slow song to sing. According to him, this way, you can really train your diaphragm because in that position (lying flat on the floor facing upwards), you find it more difficult to use your chest to sing. Well, guess what, I’ve been doing that all along, unknowingly, because I’ve always loved doing that. And I can’t sing these few days when I bathe. That’s also a torture for me. Well, my neighbours may beg to differ, of course. Singing praises and worshipping the Lord in the shower is so enjoyable! I no longer belt out David Tao or Jay Zhou (okay, only sometimes) but really, just singing praises. Sometimes, I realise I break into songs with words that just come to me out of the blue - it's such a spontaneous joyful feeling.

And it’s not just an emotional high, I disagree with that saying. You feel spiritually closer, and you feel so loved by the Lord. The choir leader I mentioned earlier also suggested that if we are free, we can visit Darlene Zschech’s website. She did a study on Psalms on her website, from Psalms 1. Of course, she hasn’t finished all of them, I think she’s only at Psalms 49 I believe. I’m going to start giving it a try. I love Psalms. If you realise, most of Darlene’s songs drew inspiration from Psalms. And who’s the author of Psalms? David! That’s right, the man God said, who is “after His own heart”. And you can see that in the words, feel it when he sings. I always picture this scenario in my head when David was being hunted by his own son and forced into hiding. Do you know he wrote some of his greatest Psalms during this period of so-called “darkness” in his life? David is truly a worshipper of God, and I want to be a worshipper after the order of David! Hallelujah!

Darkness, oh yes, speaking of which, we are in the seventh month again. Yucks! That hateful month where the Chinese believe the Gates of Hell are open and all the hungry ghosts come out and roam the streets for food. Of course, we Christians do not subscribe to this. And we shouldn’t! Because we are beacons of light, brothers and sisters! If the Holy Spirit is in you, pray tell me, you think any demon or ghost or spirit can come near you? Remember Jesus’s encounter with the most possessed man in the Bible? How the man begged Jesus to have mercy on him and how Jesus commanded the spirits to depart and they fled to possess the pigs and the pigs drowned themselves.

Hey, you know what! The same Spirit that in-dwells Jesus now dwells in you. Praise the Lord! But you know, I do agree that it’s hard not being affected by all that’s going around you. With people burning incense all over the place, “public” offering to idols, all the ge-tai performances to “hao xiong di”, it’s easy to fall into the belief that there are really evil spirits roaming around during the Hungry Ghosts month. Okay, I’m going to stun you with this statement. There ARE evil spirits roaming around. BUT they don’t come out only during the Hungry Ghosts month. In fact, they have always been around. Remember what Pastor Mark said about funerals? He shared that funerals, or rather, deaths, do attract evil spirits. That’s why the Chinese are so particular about people visiting others’ houses after they have just experienced a loss of their loved one or relative. You see, it is true. In the same manner, all this idol worship, offering of incense and food and what have you, all these pagan practices also attract these spirits, thus giving the impression that there are more such beings around during this fateful month, and helping to perpetuate the myth about “gates of Hell opening” and all.

Over lunch yesterday, I was appalled to hear my boss, who is a Christian, share with us that he has observed that the first day and last day of the Hungry Ghosts month are usually rainy days. Goodness! And another colleague added: “Hiyah, because the ghosts need to bathe themselves before they come out of Hell!” I was stunned, not so much as shocked but more of disbelief at the words that can come out of their mouths. Such ignorance and foolish words! Okay, maybe it’s meant to be a joke, chill right? Sure, but really, all this nonsense about Hungry Ghosts should not trouble you. Yes, we may feel the uneasiness in our flesh. I do feel the chill sometimes too, especially when I’m bathing alone late at night. C’mon I’m still human. With joss sticks and half-burned incense paper lying around the pavement, the thick acrid smell of burning incense in the air, it does feel creepy walking home sometimes. But you know what? They won’t dare come near you. Pray in tongues if you feel scared. By the way, praying in tongues is not the modern day substitute of flashing a wooden cross at any would-be spirits hor. You pray in tongues to nourish your inner man, to remind yourself who you are in Christ! And if you get the jitters during a shower, sing praises and worship Him! And remind yourself, the Holy Spirit is in you! Praise the Lord! Pity the one (me!) who has been trying to sing during my showers these few days but end up croaking instead! So rejoice and sing, Beloveds of Christ!

And if your colleagues tell you that the flu bug is caused by those evil spirits roaming around, well, you know what, you can laugh in his or her face and take heart that all the more, they would not dare come near you if that’s what they believe. Because CHRIST is IN YOU, THE HOPE OF GLORY! Amen?

Lost

2005-07-28T11:25:00.000-07:00

It’s amazing how people will glue themselves in front of the telly at 10 pm every Thursday to watch the story of how the lives of 40 survivors from a plane unfold on a mysterious island that is supposed to be spooked. For the very simple reason, it becomes a drag after a while, when one by one, you go through each and every person’s tale but nothing happens. The story doesn’t build to a climax and nobody knows what the mystery on the island is all about. In other words, the suspense is becoming suspended in thin air – much like Desperate Housewives. After a while, who cares who killed Mary Alice Young, for those who fervently follow the show, like how I used to at the beginning.

Well I guess, people are still hanging on to being ‘Lost’ because it’s not so much about being physically marooned on an island. As you can see, the idea of the producers weaving flashbacks of the survivors’ stories prior to their plane crash, relates to the sense of being ‘lost’ in their lives. The characters in the story have all either lost direction, some have lost faith, some lost hope, some lost their loved ones – essentially all of them lost a sense of direction. I guess many of us glue ourselves to the telly because we are not only intrigued by what-the-hell is the spook of the much-talked about “them” and the whispers and the polar bears but it’s about trying to catch some direction in our lives, to receive our own portion from the show.

A dear brother once described the experience of being lost as a little boy, and what you should do. He said, you should do nothing, stand still, so that you can be found. This is very different from the conventions of the world. The first instinct is – let’s try to find a way to get out of the island. So you try to send signals, you try to build a bon-fire, you end up bickering and punching other people. Or you can even build a golf course to try and alleviate your pain and anxiety, and try to put the problem aside. Sounds familiar? Well, the world is getting a dose of “doing” from the show “Lost”. It’s always “we have to do this”, “you have to do that”, “if not…this this this”.

This brother also shared that the reason you stand still is because, then it makes searching for you easier because your parents will recall where they last left you. You see, many times, we also slip into the “do this do that” mode. I’m guilty of it as well. But we forget that we are always in the arms of the Father. How can we ever be lost? Yes, we can. When we forget that we are in the hands of the Father, when we choose to focus on what we can do by our own efforts, when we choose to place our trust in ourselves and not in Him.

So what am I trying to say here? Definitely not asking you to stop watching “Lost” because I do agree it’s a pretty good show. But know that, sometimes we meet difficulties in our lives, myself included, but it’s how and where we choose to focus on. I’m still learning to do that myself. If you feel “lost”, very simple, it’s a mere change of mindset, renewing of the mind. Just turn to our Abba, He’s always there. How can He not be? When a little child feels sad or starts to cry or scream, what do you think his or her father would do? Leave him or her alone? I know some of you may have such parents. But believe me when I say, 99 per cent of parents love their children. Just that some of them may not know how to show that love appropriately. In the same way, know that you are the darling princess or beloved prince of our Abba Father. He is not an Almighty God who sits on His mighty mighty shiny throne and carries a sceptre, ready to roast you with lightning and thunder the moment you make a mistake. Of course NOT!!! He will rush to your bed when you are screaming from a nightmare. He will carry you in your arms when you are crying. That’s what an Abba does. That’s why we call Him Father. He’s not Jade Emperor or the silent Buddha. He speaks to you, He cuddles you, He hugs you with His loving touches.

I know some of you, those who read my previous posting, may wonder at the complete 360 degree change in my attitude. Well, it’s not that I became a different person overnight, or that I’m trying to sound hypocritical. But I realise that I have turned my eyes away from Him. Rather than just rest in Him, I indulge in my own emotions. Yes, that part of me still remains, but I choose now to cast everything to Him. I don’t want to be stuck, like the UK band U2 says, “in a moment”. I want to be “stuck in God”. I want to tell Daddy: I can’t handle it, Abba, you take it from me.

So hey there, all of us go through ups and downs. But you know what, knowing that there’s always someone out there on your side, ready to shower you with loving kindness, that’s the reason we can get out of “Lost” mode, and enjoy piggy-backing on His back. Let the world take care of their problems. Yourself? You have the Father to take care of you. Remember this, if Abba is for you, nothing can be against you! NOTHING! NOBODY! ZERO! Diseases die on their own, demons and evil spirits flee at the sight of you (I’m sure you don’t want to be popular among them as well), and best of all, blessings run after you, and the Bible says, overtakes you.

So rejoice! Even if you feel lost about finding a job, or in your line of work, or in your boy-girl relationships or with your spouse, or with your school work, or in relationships with your parents. Always remember who you are in Christ, brothers and sisters, you are the son or daughter of our Abba Father. If He is the King of Kings, then we are the Princes of Princes and Princesses of Princesses!!! Amen? *winks*

Emotions...

2005-07-25T17:14:00.000-07:00

Am I such an emotional wreck?

I don't know. I want to trust in God that His favors are on me and blessings are mine. But sometimes it's just so difficult when you know you have bitches for clients and I don't know where these people come from - from the pit of hell perhaps.

Many a times, I have cried during praise and worship, thinking how it had all turned out like that. Perhaps the reality of the industry I'm in has sort of dawned on me. I cannot complain about my colleagues - they are a cool bunch of people. Well, I shared with a sister at length about what I'm facing at work. She gave me some very good advice from her experiences of dealing and handling clients.

I was really very encouraged by what she shared. But when Monday comes, and I open my Inbox and see those e-mails from that particular alien, (I think let's stick to this word before I lose control of myself and start hurling expletives). Sigh, I feel at a loss, somehow, I don't know why something which I approach with a passion - writing - somehow, back-fired on me in such a way.

I think these are the times you really hope the rapture happens tomorrow you know. But I know it's a very selfish thought because I still want my parents to receive Christ first. And other times, you just immerse yourself in nostalgia and think of those times when you are still an undergraduate, and don't have to deal with people from the world, no politics, no mud-slinging, no professionalism, nothing - just do what you like, do what you want, I mean, just studying for exams and doing assignments. What can be more easy than that?

Anyway, I haven't really let off steam like that for a long time, I guess, writing this down sort of makes me feel better, it's what the scientists call 'catharsis' - you let off steam. Sometimes you just wish bad things happen to people who are bad. And of course that refers to the persons who are causing you so much hurt, pain or distress. I know it's not biblical. It's just a passing thought, sometimes it lingers around. I'm trying to be real here, don't you guys ever think that way?

Well, maybe it's just me.

Right now? I'm just feeling demoralised. I feel so useless, helpless.

On The Platform

2005-07-18T13:58:00.000-07:00

It’s been a wonderful privilege to serve in choir – such an awesome and dynamic ministry, and knowing that on the platform, all it matters is Jesus Himself. He is the heart of worship, and it’s all about Him that we praise and worship.

These few weeks have been a bit rough for me in terms of work, and I’m really facing a bit of depression, stress and frustrations at work, not with my colleagues of course but with my clients. I have shared at length with some brothers and sisters-in-Christ about this, and really appreciate their encouragement during these times of need.

Having said that, there are many things I see while praise and worship, not that I’m not concentrating on the worship. But you can’t possibly keep your eyes closed all the time, can you? I have to look at the conductor’s hand signals, and yes, I do try to smile my broadest and make eye contact with the congregation.

Sometimes, there are moments you see that brings you to tears, that excites me, that encourages me. For example, I will always remember this Caucasian lady who is so enthusiastic about praise and worship. She always attends the 4th service, to my knowledge of having seen her time and again in that same position in the Rock auditorium. Just seeing her puts a smile on my face even though sometimes I do feel the lethargy at the end of a Sunday.

Two weeks back, I saw another ‘picture’ that just unleashed my water taps again. I can’t remember the songs we were singing. But I saw this lady; she’s quite lanky, with long hair.

From the way she worships, you know that she can’t speak. Because she was gesturing with her hands in an exaggerated manner as she sings the songs, as how a person who can’t speak would communicate. But it’s the expression on her face as well. Head lifted up all the time, eyes closed, very focused, mouth opening and closing though you know that no words can be heard. But she’s lifting her hands, gesturing in praise and exaltation. It just struck a chord in my heart, and tears just flowed.

You know, deep down, I know that even though she can’t speak, her praise and worship is probably the loudest in the ears of our Heavenly Father. And I know Abba delights in her praises. Abba delights in her worship. It just makes you want to sing even louder, with more energy, with more exuberance, seeing this lady worship.

How many of us stand in His presence during praise and worship, and even if we can speak, choose to mumble or sing softly? How many of us actually bothered to sing praises and worship Him with all that whole-heartedness, like this lady, during worship?

I’m not condemning anyone here; I just feel so touched by the picture of this lady worshipping, and I want to praise Him more! I see the glory of God through this lady!

So lift up your voices, O barren one, or you who are heavily burdened, and sing praises to Him!

And let His love just embrace you right there where you are standing, in praise and worship!

Hallelujah!!!

扶梯

2005-07-10T01:18:00.000-07:00

笔：维文

想想，开始这份新的工作也快要三个月了。刚开始真的很感谢神，我能够从事自己喜欢做的事，也就是写作。虽然性质不同，但总的来说，还算不错。也许是这几个星期成了“都市夜归人”，也碰到了几个难搞的客户，所以心情沉重了些。

清早搭乘地铁上班，难免得转换搭乘东北线。我每天都照常地会在多美歌地铁站转车。我想大家都知道，要转搭东北线列车，必须走一段路，才能抵达东北线的越台，途中你可选择用平面电动扶梯带步而行。奇怪的是，每次走向扶梯时，心里总会产生某种难以形容的矛盾-该搭或不搭。我知道你在想什么-这算什么大事，何须杞人忧天？我也常问自己。最近我终于找到了答案。

早上的人潮真的恐怖极了，人们不是争先恐后，就是你推我挤，也是为什么有时候真地很抗拒搭扶梯的感觉。总觉得好像有一股力量在催逼着自己，若停下来，好像有点儿‘搞破坏’似的，好像跟不上步伐，又好像是个像征性的示威或暗自的抗议。我不走了，我选择停下来，不管你们的眼光有多凶邢扼杀，不管你们多赶时间。我决定与时间发动战争，我掌握时间，不让时间掌握我。列车跑了，就等下一趟好了。

于是我决定停下来，其实这个动作本该理所当然!不然设有平面电动扶梯来干嘛？不就是让乘客能歇歇脚吗？新加坡人可不是这样想的，有的加快脚步，有的索性跑过扶梯。我累了，停下来好吗？应该不奇怪嘛！你们怎么用这样的眼光凝视着我？我破坏了你们上班的规律吗？

走在闹市的街头，人潮汹涌，与身边插肩而过的人已经数不清了。在一霎时，那段在“平面电动扶梯”插身而过的人，以更快的速度飞身而去。是我走得太慢，还是他门走得太快？我选择停下来。不走了，可否让我休息三十秒？

Let God Decide

2005-06-04T20:22:00.000-07:00

Some people write because they are bored. Some people write to show off. Some people just want to have their voices heard.

I think I’m a combination of all three.

It’s not my style, or rather I try to avoid writing rant anymore. You don’t want to know why, neither do you want to test my ranting.

But these few days have been like riding on a roller-coaster. I know men don’t really understand the full nature of PMS. I’ll just stick to mood swings. For me, it’s not about shouting my heads off at people or ignoring them anymore. I used to do that, but by the grace of God, I have kicked this habit long ago, except perhaps towards my mother. Not shouting of course. We just don’t talk anymore. Don’t ask me why. That’s another sad story.

I’m sorry to disappoint you if you are expecting some new revelations I have recently experienced. You can stop reading now if you are looking for revelations. Anyway, it’s one of those lamentations at the lack of romance in my life.

Yes, I know Jesus loves me and all. In fact just the other day, I was having a discussion with this sister-in-Christ, let’s call her Kristy. Okay, it’s more like a two-sided monologue.

Because I was trying to console her and remind her that Christ loves us, and we are the Father’s Beloved. As for her, she was just contented with flooding my MSN window with her whining - about the lack of romance in her life. Oh well...

Yet the day after, I was an internal wreck of emotions, painstakingly bottled to perfection. I think I have the broadest smile on stage when I sing. I like to think so anyway. I don’t know how I manage that. Praising and worshipping the Lord just helps me put aside everything for now. Irony.

I think it’s the lack of romance, coupled with the fact that I’m smelling something fishy. But I do not dare go one step further. Suffice to say, not that I’ve turned gay or lost interest in women but perhaps the courage is not there anymore.

And I’ve been through some false hopes in the past and lost faith in attempting those chasing games anymore. Seriously girls, some guys do get the kick out of that. Of course, some guys get tired and jaded.

I always hear from my female friends how it’s so unfair for the girl when it comes to chasing games. Because courtesy of societal norms, the girl has to play the passive role even though her hormones are raging like choppy waves in a stormy sea.

I can’t really appreciate the guy’s so-called active role as well. Mentally, it’s a torture. Emotionally, it’s worse. Much worse. Again, I must say again, some egomaniacal, narcissistic, arrogant guys do relish the process.

So far, have I been ranting? I don’t know. I just want to shout out my fears. Fears of rejection, fears of loneliness, fears of uncertainty. I get reminded in church every week that Jesus has taken away my fears. I guess the mind is weak, the flesh is corrupt and the soul? Trying to reconcile with the spirit.

Perhaps the passive way is to let God decide. Perhaps that’s the most active way I can think of that the world views as passive. I think it takes more than a spark, you know, it takes God. I’m still in a state of confusion.

Down at Your feet O Lord…

2005-04-18T16:13:00.000-07:00

I’m sure most of us (if you have been in New Creation Church long enough), you’ll be familiar with this song ‘Down At Your Feet’. (If you’re not from NCC, please do not be offended as it’s not my intention to ‘ostracize’ you). I believe, by the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit in you, that what I’m about to share will also touch your hearts.

By the way, the song goes like this:

Down at Your feet O Lord,
Is the Most High Place
In Your presence Lord,
I seek Your face
I seek Your face

Chorus:
There is no higher calling, no greater honour
Than to bow and kneel before Your throne
I’m amazed at Your glory, embraced by Your mercy
O Lord I live to worship You

You would agree most definitely with me that it is a powerful song, an awesome song! I don’t know the circumstances under which the song is written. But whatever it is, it must have been such a wonderful experience for the song-writer under the leading of the Holy Spirit.

We sang this song during last Saturday’s Young Adults Meeting (16 April 2005). And while we were all worshipping the Lord with this song, ‘images’ began flooding my head, faster than I can ask them to ‘line up’ in sequence. I might not even be able to recall some of them.

As I was worshipping, the words “Down at Your feet O Lord…is the most high place” just struck me as so powerful, so succinct yet paints the whole picture. And that’s when the ‘images’ bombarded me.

I began to ‘see’ the scenarios when people were down at His feet, for various reasons, for various purposes, with various motives. But one thing prevailed, they felt the awesome love of God, they received healing and blessings, and went away transformed, renewed, healed!

As I said, the ‘images’ came in randomly, so I’ll attempt to list as many here.

Mary “sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word” (Luke 10:39) while Martha was distracted with much serving. When Martha complained: “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.”

And Jesus answered and said to her,” Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10: 41-42).

The woman with the issue of blood for twelve years, went secretly to touch Jesus’s garment, ans was healed instantly. But Jesus, perceiving that power had gone out of Him, turned around and said,” Who touched My clothes?” (Mark 5:30)

And the woman, fearing and trembling, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell down before Him.

But the Lord said to her: “Daughter, be of good cheer; your faith has made you well. Go in peace.” (Luke 8:48)

The Holy Spirit must have deemed this story of the woman with the issue of blood, to be of such significance to record it in three of the four gospels (Matthew 9:18-22, Mark 5:25-34 and Luke 8:43-48).

When the Lord preached on the Beatitudes on the mountain, the disciples and multitudes sat at His feet to listen to Him teach them: “Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap, nor gather into barns; yet your Heavenly Father feeds them, are you not of more value than they?”

“Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.” (Matthew 6:25-34)

After Jesus had finished his sermon on the Mount, he came down and a leper came and worshipped Him, saying,” Lord, if You are willing, You can make me clean.”

What is the leper doing in that crowd? According to Judaic Laws, the Law of Moses, he should have been isolated and he cannot come out in the open.

But he must have come and fell at His feet, arms raised in the air, the Bible says. And the Lord answered him: “I am willing; be cleansed.” (Matthew 8:2-3)

And remember Mary, Martha’s sister? She fell at Jesus’s feet and anointed them with an alabaster flask of very costly fragrant oil using her hair.

The Lord said to those who rebuked her actions, “Let her alone; she has kept this for the day of My burial. Assuredly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is preached in the world, what this woman has done will also be told as a memorial to her.” (Matthew 26: 12-13, Mark 14:6-9, Luke 7:37-38)

This was the same Mary who had received forgiveness and the gift of no condemnation when the scribes and Pharisees caught her in adultery and brought her to Jesus to test Him. (John 8:1-11)

When, as depicted in the scenes from the Passion of the Christ, Jesus said: “He who is without a sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” (John 8:7)

And one by one, the Bible says, left the woman alone, being convicted by their conscience. We saw in Passion and I also believed, that Mary must have been dragged on her knees and she must have been crying.

Then the Lord said:” Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?”

She said,” No one Lord.” And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”

And this woman became the only one to anoint Jesus’ feet - those feet whom she had fallen at when the world condemns her as a prostitute, an adulterer - before the Messiah’s burial.

How do we know it’s the same woman, the same Mary? Because in Luke 7:39, a Pharisee murmured within himself,” This man (referring to Jesus), if He were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner.”

Thank You Lord Jesus.

Down at Your feet O Lord, there is forgiveness.
Down at Your feet O Lord, there is no condemnation.
Down at Your feet O Lord, there is healing.
Down at Your feet O Lord, there are blessings.
Down at Your feet O Lord, there is shelter.
Down at Your feet O Lord, there is protection.
Down at Your feet O Lord, there is warmth
Down at Your feet O Lord, there is comfort.
Down at Your feet O Lord, there is peace.
Down at Your feet O Lord, there is grace.
Down at Your feet O Lord, there is love.For down at Your feet O Lord, is the Most High Place.

Thank You Lord.

Shalom.

An Encounter with God? I really don't know...

2005-04-11T11:23:00.000-07:00

Hey Blessed Beloveds,

A sister said I haven't blogged for a long time. Well, partly because I have been busy with certain stuff in ministry. Partly because I haven't been receiving any revelations or nothing to share.

I think I was starting to get affected by the fact that, like it or not, I have not found a job, and it's been three months of bumming at home. And my mum is also starting to pass comments on my bummer lifestyle.

I guess in the midst of it all, though I keep telling myself to be restful, it's difficult not to get affected.

That's why I haven't had anything to pen for a long time. Just didn't feel I was in the flow or anything. But Pastor's messages for these two weeks have been a blessing and refreshment to me.

I think in this three months of "barren-ness", I must have subconsciously lost my belief. And Pastor is right, who says "believing" is easy? When the dark clouds are gathering, when you are leaning over the edge of a precipice, it is difficult to believe, to focus on Jesus, to know that God is still there with you.

That He has never left you in the first place.

These few weeks, I have been working on an assignment in ministry. I think previously I shared with a few brothers and sisters-in-Christ that I applied to go full-time in church.

However, there has been a change in the ministry structure, and they decided to close that position in favour of adopting an alternative approach. In other words, simply put, the position that I previously applied for, was now closed or made void.

I want to be honest and say that I was disapointed. Perhaps part of the reason I wasn't receiving is because I was still trying to get over the disappointment. I'm not gung-ho and you know, be hypocritical and say that I'm not affected.

But I believe that if it's God's calling, my portion would not be taken away. I just have to trust in His season and timing.

There's something I wanted to share but I must warn you that it might sound freaky to some of you.

Remember that Pastor shared and prayed over the congregation before to have God be our spiritual surgeon, to operate and correct whatever that was binding us, that by the end of this year, we can all say we would be free from those bondages.

I experienced something strange last night. I felt a sensation while sleeping last night. It was as if someone is purging something from my stomach. And I can feel as if a hole has been "made" surgically in my stomach for that "thing" to come out.

I cannot explain it. It didn't feel painful. It just felt like someone was trying to take something out from my stomach.

And then I felt an arm pressing against my right shoulder, and a sensation came over my entire being, you know, like when you are laying hands on somebody, you place your palm on that person's shoulder or arm. Something like that.

I remebered, in a sub-conscious manner, I reached out with my left hand, trying to grab something. And it was done out of a reaction, you know, like "Please don't let go..." like when you reach out your hand to try desperately and grab something if you are falling off.

But instead of thin air, I grabbed an arm. I remebered and I know that feeling. It was flesh I touched. It was a hand. I didn't see it. But I was certain I grabbed hold of a hand.

And then I started to open my eyes, and I wanted to know who this is, whose hand is pressing on my right shoulder and whose left arm that I'm holding on to.

But I realise I can't move my body. Not even an ounce of muscle. And the strangest part was, I tried to turn around, anticipating to see someone or something.

However, I just didn't have the stremgth, and I was struggling within myself, to turn even my head to look behind, at the edge of my bed.

And when I did, I realise, my body didn't turn at all. But I realised I have turned to look behind but my body remained where it was.

At the same time, I was making sure my left hand was grabbing real tightly on the arm. I felt like I was Jacob, "wrestling" with God in that episode recorded in the Bible.

I did not get to see who that "someone" or "something" was. I decided the struggle was futile and I turned back and lay straight, facing upwards.

Then instantly, a deep sleep came over me. And I didn't recall this incident when I woke up. Not until later this afternoon.

I really don't know what to make of this encounter. I did not ask for this encounter.

But whatever it is, I believe that God will operate on me, and perhaps this is just one of the many procedures, that before the end of the year, I would be free.

Thank you Father. I love you.

“While you were sleeping… …”

2005-03-25T12:03:00.000-08:00

“While you were sleeping…I never rested.
While you were sleeping…I watched over you.
While you were sleeping…I protected you.
While you were sleeping…I healed your sickness.
While you were sleeping…I wiped a tear from your nightmare.
While you were sleeping…I comforted you.
While you were sleeping…I hugged you.
While you were sleeping…I dined with you.
While you were sleeping…I danced with you.
While you were sleeping…I sang love songs to you.
While you were sleeping…I kissed you.
While you were sleeping…I whispered sweet nothings to you.
While you were sleeping…I never leave you nor forsake you…

Because you are my beloved child…and I LOVE YOU!”

- Daddy God through the Holy Spirit

In Your Presence...

2005-03-19T09:49:00.000-08:00

To the Beloveds of our Lord Jesus Christ,

who are currently goiong through some challenges of their own...

When you feel tired, when you feel chastised, when you feel that someone is making things difficult for you, when you feel you are walking through a valley. (Psalms 23), be rest assured that He is with you.

In fact, He has already prepared a feast for you, He says, in front of your enemies. But how can you celebrate, you wonder? Because He has gotten the victory for you, that's why you can eat and drink and be merry in the face of adversity, in the face of your enemies.

As you are going through these challenges, just take time out. Close your eyes, go to your Daddy God. (Okay, tis may sound very strange to good obedient Christians who may ask: "Don't you think we should do more "Daily Bread" or read more of His Word???")

But personally, it's been very comforting to me.You know, in the eyes of our Daddy God, you are still His precious little girl or boy.

And that's how He likes you to be.

As your eyes are closed, imagine Him holding you by the hand, going out for a walk. Climb onto His lap. Rest there, if you will. Because He has come to give you rest. Hug him if you will.

Because He is love.

Have you seen a little boy, out of a sudden, run to his daddy or mummy's leg or lap and just wrap his arms around the parent or bury his head in his mummy's skirt?

That's why our Lord Jesus told his disciples not to hinder the children from coming to Him. He says in Mark 10: 13-16: "Let the children come to me, do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.

Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it."You know, I used to think it's because children are innocent and pure, and their minds are uncorrupted, not having experienced the ways of the world.

But the Holy Spirit drew my attention to something else. Little children, in case you're not aware, are very spontaneous. Their love is so genuine and pure. Whenever they rush towards their parents to embrace them, they are just saying: "Daddy, I need you" or "Mummy, I love you."

Our Heavenly Father is waiting for you to rush into His arms in the same manner, or bury your head in His lap. Talk to Him - He'll answer.

In fact, He desires that you listen to Him more. Many times, we "pray" or "complain" too much but you know, God is so humble and loving that He, the all-powerful one, listens to every word, that we, the powerless one shouts from our earthly positions.

And you know what He does, He just smiles and says to you: "Come, let me hug you, my beloved darling. I love you."

The Bible says, even the slightest groans reach to His throne. He loves you so much that every tear you drop, He has already counted and measured in a vessel. For He longs to gather us all like a mother hen, under the shadow of His wings.

And He wants you to remain there, Abide in Him, he says. It simply means: "Stay here with me."I love these precious moments with my Abba. And they never cease to bring tears to my eyes, when I opened them. Tears of joy, peace and loving warmth. His hugs, His laps, His holding me by my little hand.

This song comes to mind as I was writing this:

In Your Presence...
In Your Presence...
There is peace...
In Your Presence...
In Your Presence...
There is joy...
I will linger, I will stay...
In Your Presence...
Day by day...
Till Your likeness be seen in me...

Close your eyes, Beloveds.

Daddy is waiting...

The LOVE of God...is greater far...than tongue or pen can ever tell...

2005-03-11T02:09:00.000-08:00

Desert Jesus - He'll still LOVE you. The disciples did that, Jesus never mention their betrayal. (Matthew 26:56)

Deny Jesus - He'll still LOVE you. Peter found out. When the rooster crowed. (Mark 14:66-72)

Doubt Jesus - He'll still LOVE you - Thomas found out. When he touched His wounds. (John 20:24-29)

Abandon Jesus - He'll still LOVE you. The prodigal son found out. When he returned to a feast. (Luke 15:11-24)"For nothing can separate us from the LOVE of God" - so convinced the Apostle Paul wrote. (Romans 8:39)For "God is LOVE", says John. (1 John 4:16)

Hey Beloveds, BE-LOVED!!!

2005-02-27T21:38:00.000-08:00

Hey Beloveds, BE-LOVED!!!

Hey Beloveds, it’s been some time since my last post and I feel I just have to pen this down.

Truth is, I haven’t been writing new stuff because lately, I’m experiencing some attacks from the Devil, sheesh, I think I shouldn’t even write it in caps…let’s call him the devil with a small letter ‘d’ or crap, in short.

I haven’t had the best of weeks, and also haven’t been receiving revelations. Basically I just felt dry and a little depressed.

But praise God! Because His love for us never fails. I was glad that I attended Pastor (or is he called Reverend) Kenneth Copeland Ministry on Saturday. Personally, I really felt the love of God.

I was due for reservist training since last Thursday, and could not make it for the weekday sermons. And even on Saturday, I found excuses for myself not to attend.

But God placed so many of His beloveds to ‘pester’ me to go. So I did, and what a message it was! I just felt the love of God so deeply, and tears just rolled, free-flow I think. I don’t know how to explain that feeling.

I think many of us would have, one time or another, or perhaps even everyday, experience this. It’s just an outpouring of God’s love. Rev. Copeland shared that our Heavenly Father loves us the in the same way He loves His Son the Lord Jesus Christ in John 17:26 -“And I have declared to them Your name, and will declare it, that the love with which You loved Me may be in them, and I in them.”

It just cause my human water taps to flow, I mean, how could you not be touched?

Our Heavenly Father loves us as much as He loves our Lord Jesus!!! Hallelujah!!!

Thank you Abba!!!

And by now, I believe those who have attended his services would have the book of John and 1 John firmly etched in their memory. In 1 John, in several places, repeated time and again, is the verse “God is love”.

In 1 John 4:8, it says: “He who does not love does not know God, for God is love”.

1 John 4:16 says “And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him”.

In my previous church, whenever a wedding is held in church, the wedding couple seem to favor this particular chunk of verses very much. That it got quoted time and again, it’s like the next thing you would recite besides the vow.

Nope, I’m not talking about 1 John here. I’m referring to the famous 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. I still remembered there were occasions when we even sang these verses like a hymn. Or is there a hymn already written by some famous man or woman of God.

Anyway, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 reads like this:“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love never fails.”

Bear with me here because I may be a little slow in not having realized the beauty of all these. Since we established earlier that God is love, so God = Love.

Let’s try substituting the word “Love” in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and we see that the passage takes on an entirely new meaning.

Can you see the beauty of it all?

We just saw the characteristics of God in that summation of verses. Because God is love!

I’m not saying that reciting 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 is wrong but there’s such an amazing beauty to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 if we see the loveliness of the passage. God revealed to us what He is all about.

And if by the time you finished reading 1 John chapter 4 and do not come away convinced that God loves us, I can only say that perhaps you come from Mars.

In 1 John 4: 10, the apostle John wrote: “In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins”.

Then he continues in the next verse: “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another”. And why do we love?

The Bible says in 1 John 4:19, “We love Him because He first loved us”.

Hallelujah!!!

And like what our beloved Pastor Prince preached this Sunday, we are all Beloveds in Christ.

Anytime the devil attacks us, anytime we’re feeling down, or when you just need a hug, just remember, we are our Daddy God’s Beloveds!!! Amen!!!

And you know the best thing we can DO in response, knowing that God loves us so much???

And since we all always like to DO something about something.

The best thing, Beloveds, to DO something, is to BE-LOVED!!!

Beloveds, you are the BE-LOVED, loved by who? Our Abba, our Heavenly Father, who loves us the same way He loves His Son, Jesus!!!

So what are you waiting for? Hop on to good old Abba's lap now and just hug Him, kiss Him, tell Him you loved Him too.

Beloveds!!! God says to you and me, “BE-LOVED!”

Hallelujah!!!

Soaking shamelessly in His abundant LOVE,
weiwen

The Power of Three...And We're Not Referring To The Charmed Ones

2005-02-03T00:35:00.000-08:00

Recently, a dear sister-in-Christ shared on her blog about the power of the Holy Trinity, i.e. God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. She said: “It's hard to fathom God being one, yet being three and each of them being fully God. Not something our mind can comprehend, at least mine can't yet, but it's powerful and it's effective."

"They always work together and never differ from each other. Jesus would know what the will of God is, and the Holy Spirit will know too,” she added.

Hallelujah! Many of us, I believe, when we first received Christ, have also grappled with the concept of the Holy Trinity. Some denominations have even gone so far as to emphasize one over the other.

I shall not name them but as this sister above shared: “each one is fully God, and this 3 in 1 works man.”

It is no coincidence, and I’m sure those who have gone through Bible Foundations Class will know this, that the human being is made up of three realms – the body (flesh), soul and spirit.

My pastor from my previous church used to use the palm to illustrate the concept of the Trinity. So if you look at your palm from the top, you see your fingernails. You look at it face upwards in worship position, you see all the lines. If you look at it sideways, you only see your first three fingers.

Anyway, it’s still the same palm you’re looking at, just from three different perspectives.

At least that’s how she used to explain it.

It's really amazing how everything seems to occur in threes.

If God has a favourite number, it has to be THREE. Look closely at the things in nature. We are taught in Primary Three Science that all matter consists of three states: solid, liquid and gas.

Of course, later on, we are taught that composite states like colloid and gel do exist but simply put, the three states still suffice to explain the three states of water: ice, liquid water and vapour.

And do you realize in the Old Testament how the Tabernacle of Meeting is also made up of three sections? There’s the Outer Court where the altar of burnt offerings is made, the Inner Court where the Table of Showbread and the Lampstand are, and the Holy of Holies, where the Ark of the Covenant is.

Sadly but true, the Chinese are perhaps the people who follow most closely to the design of the Tabernacle of Meeting as outlined in Exodus in the Old Testament.

If you would read carefully and do a simple sketch of the details God dictated to Moses as to the furnishings inside the Tabernacle, you would have noticed that they bear a canny resemblance to any Chinese temple you might visit today.

Of course, today, we know that the people during Moses’ time have only the shadow of things to come, and we know that the Tabernacle is actually a typology of our Lord Jesus Christ and His church.

I will explain the typology later.

Because the Bible says, all things are created by Him, through Him and for Him!

The modern Chinese temple also have three sections, and there’s usually an altar of incense in the outer court, the Inner Court would have lampstands and the so-called ‘junior’-ranked gods, followed by the more senior-ranked gods, and finally the Jade Emperor or the highest, and supposedly the god of the greatest authority in the Innermost chamber.

Notice in the Chinese temple, that there are also veils separating the different sections. And that the furnishings like lampstand and altar are all covered in gold. Why?

Because gold speaks of divinity. In addition, the utensils like plates, cups, etc are all in red – because in the Old Testament, the High Priest would sacrifice a ram and sprinkled its blood at the four corners of the altar and also, the utensils to cleanse them.

It is very clear that without the sacrifice of innocent blood, in this case, that of the innocent ram, no one can come before God. We know from accounts in the Bible that when the children of Israel went into the land of Canaan, they began to mix with the indigenous people, and consequently, they inter-married and adopted their culture, religion into their lives.

Because of this, they started worshipping other gods, against the First Law set out in the Ten Commandments, but at the same time, they ‘perverted’ the worship of their own God of Israel by adapting the worship to other gods.

Today, we are free from all these because Christ became our one-time and eternal sacrifice, and His blood shed for us perpetually covers us, so that when God communes with us at the mercy seat between the wings of the cherubim, He sees His beloved Son, our Lord Jesus Christ covering us with His blood.

A bit more on Chinese religion. Contrary to popular belief, Taoism has no relation at all to Monkey God or the Goddess of Mercy. The early Chinese philosophers conceived Taosim as a truism, and explain it as the balance of what we know as ‘yin’ and ‘yang’ forces. Because they saw everything in nature as a duopoly – it’s man vs woman, day vs night, hot vs cold, and all things in universe, they reason, are in harmony, when these two opposing forces are in equilibrium. Of course, what they fail to reason beyond the duo-interplay of forces is that there exists a supernatural force that keeps the two forces in harmony, i.e. GOD.

The philosophers were atheist and did not believe in the existence of a higher being, as they reason that nature seeks to achieve harmony or equilibrium on its own accord. They fail to see that GOD is the third force that balances the two forces, if according to their reasoning. In marriage, a man and a woman comes together but a successful marriage is blessed because of the third party that comes into play – GOD. Christ is the centre of our marriage.

Pastor Joshua preached last week on the alignment of the mouth, mind and heart. We know that this is a parallel to the Body (Flesh), the Soul and the Spirit.

In the Book of Proverbs, we are told of the dangers of a loose and evil tongue.

Our Lord Jesus says in Luke 6:45: “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

By the way, the Soul part is linked to the mind because it controls the realm of our emotions, feelings and thoughts.

Can you see how the Lord Jesus links the mouth to the heart?

Your spoken words are a result of what is in your heart, and your heart is where your Spirit man dwells.

James wrote in the New Testament: “And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body…out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing.” (James 3:7-10)

Therefore, can you see the Trinity at work here in the alignment of the mouth, mind and heart? When Christ is in our hearts, all things are kept in balance, and we are in balance. The mouth, or tongue speaks forth good things because in our hearts dwell our Lord Jesus Christ, and our minds are constantly focused on Him.

In fact, we are not only balanced, we are exceedingly and abundantly blessed, and overflow with life.

In other words, Christ is the fountain of life, and if we make Him the centre of our lives, we become the fountain of LIFE!!!

Praise the Lord whose mercies endure forever!

Shalom,
Weiwen

In case you’re interested, below are the typologies of the materials used to make the furnishings in the Tabernacle of Meeting. As you read the last few chapters of Exodus and wondering the heck all these materials’ symbolic meanings, here’s the reference.

White (linen) - Righteousness and purity
Red/Scarlet - Suffering, sacrifice or blood
Purple – RoyaltyBronze - Judgment against sin
Silver - Ransom or Redemption
Gold - God’s glory or divinity
Acacia Wood – perfect humanity as God created Adam
Badger/Sea cow/Dolphin skin - Separation and protection
Ram’s skin - Consecration and obedience to God
Goat’s hair – Sin-bearing
Oil – Holy Spirit
Incense – Prayer and intercession

Finally, just a small revelation that came to me while I was reading Exodus 39. Do you know that all the priests’ garments during the Old Testament times were made of “blue, purple and scarlet thread”, and in Exodus 39:3, the Bible says: “And they beat the gold into thin sheets and cut it into threads, to work it in with the blue, purple, and scarlet thread, and the fine linen, into artistic designs.”So the priests’ garments during those times consist of an intricately woven mesh of blue, purple, red and gold threads and fine linen.

In the New Testament, we know that all who receive Christ automatically qualify as priests, and not just priests. The Bible calls us in 1 Peter 2:9, ROYAL priests.

Today we shared the lineage (origin, blue) of Jesus Christ even though we were born Gentiles but because of Christ’s sacrifice (red) on Calvary, God the Son was striped (think of the gold being beaten into thin threads) because of our sins, so that we are now washed as white as snow, covered in His righteousness (white linen) that we are worthy of being called ROYAL (purple) priests in the Temple of God!

Okies, final Shalom…Hallelujah!

The Story of an Indian family, some Arabs and the Fragrance of Christ and our Favour-filled Life!

2005-01-27T16:56:00.000-08:00

I’m going to write about the story of an Indian family.

Okay, I’m not racist. At least I try not to be.

Well, there’s just this Indian family that happens to be my neighbour. Only a staircase separates my apartment from theirs. I just have one problem with them. I really don’t know what they cook or what kind of oil they use but there’s just this intensely strong odour (they can beat Hugo Boss’s Intense for the longest lasting scent) that emanates from their flat.

And not only does the scent or smell emanates, it diffuses and every time the wind blows (and since we are having the Northeast Monsoon right now), the smell just smacks into your nose.

It’s really too over-powering!!!

I have had nasty thoughts flashing across my mind before - like: should I write a complaint letter to the Town Council, or should I just confront them about it.

The other day I was dressed very well, perfume and all, to go to church. And in stepped the mother and her daughter from that family while the lift door was about to close. You can imagine the expression on my face.

Okay, again, I’m not racist. But some things do try my patience.

Then last week, while I was reading the first chapter of the book “Finding Favor With The King” by Tommy Tenney, a small excerpt just caught my attention. Basically the author described his experience while staying in a London hotel. He wrote: “When I stepped into a hotel elevator…the full power of the fragrance instantly flooded my senses. That was when I realized it wasn’t the hotel that smelled so good. The elevator was already occupied by two veiled Middle-Eastern ladies and their husbands. They were the source of the indescribable fragrances.”
The author than commented on the fragrance to a hotel staff member who was with him inside the elevator after the Middle-Eastern couples have stepped out.
To which he was told: “You should see inside their room! They bring the fragrances from the Middle East to their rooms.
“The women lay out their clothes on a little latticework device before they wear them. They light trays of fragrant incense burners underneath the latticework frames so the fragrance saturates their clothes while they bathe or tend to other duties.”
And the author later went on to relate his experiences to the story of Esther.
Remember how she beat more than a thousand women to become Queen of Persia, and later we know, she helped save the children of Israel from an evil plot to annihilate them. She spent an entire year in preparation before she was allowed to meet King Xerxes, then King of Persia.
And the culture in Persia is such that the women were known to place spices and fragrant oils in incense burners and let them saturate their clothing. And it is a known historical fact that fragrant oils and spices were major exports of Persia.
Can you imagine what Esther, who, for one entire year, bathes, clothes and walks around in fragrant oils will smell like?
Just like the Indian family mentioned earlier, okay, maybe not, the Middle-Eastern couples described above!
After reading that chapter, I proceeded to shower and change for an appointment later.And God asked me this question during the shower: “Do you know favour also works like that?”
“Works like what, Father?” I asked.
And He said: “What you have just read…” My attention was brought to a verse I recalled reading about before in the Bible which says: “Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place.
For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing.” (2 Corinthians 2:14-15).

Praise God!!!

We are the fragrance of Christ, among Christians and non-Christians, the verse says.

It is the fragrance of Christ that attracts the favour, that gives us favour with the people surrounding us. And we know that when we accept Christ, He is in us and we in Him.

The Bible says in Ephesians 5:2 that “And walk in love, as Christ has also loved is and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.”
Christ qualified us for all the favours, the grace and the blessings of God. He becomes our fragrance, the Bible says, that reaches to God as a sweet-smelling aroma.
I remembered Pastor’s teachings on fragrances in the Book of Exodus in the Old Testament.
I’m sure you guys know that in the Old Testament, the ordinary people cannot enter the Holy of Holies because they will die. Only the Most High Priest, that is Aaron, will enter into it, and the Bible says in Exodus 30:7-8: “And Aaron shall burn fragrant incense on it. Every morning when he dresses the lamps he shall burn it, and when Aaron sets up the lamps at twilight, he shall burn it, a regular incense offering before the LORD throughout your generations.”
Do you realize that your parents are doing the same thing to their gods every morning and every evening but they do not know what they are doing?
Because to them, it is but a ritual, that they saw their parents practice when they are little children, and therefore they now do.
But Praise Jesus, that today, he is our continuous incense, the sweet-smelling aroma that reaches to God’s throne, and qualifies us for all His blessings by His one-time offering on the Cross.
If you continue to read from Exodus 30, you will come across the passage about how Aaron and his line of priests should be anointed with fragrant oil and incense. And then it goes on to describe the fragrance that God instructed Moses to make to put in the Tabernacle where Moses will meet with God.And this is where Pastor taught on the compositions of the fragrances. They are a blend of sweet spices, stacte, onycha, galbanum and pure frankincense, seasoned with salt. And these are the root word (in Hebrew) and the meanings of the ingredients.

Ingredient: stacte
Root word (in Hebrew): nataph
Literal meaning: aromatic gum resin drop
Figurative meaning: to ooze in drops

Ingredient: onycha
Root word (in Hebrew): shacheleth (derived from “shachal”)
Literal meaning: an ingredient used in making incense
Figurative menaing: to roar, like a fierce lion of Jehovah

Ingredient: galbanum
Root word (in Hebrew): chelbanah(derived from “cheleb”)
Literal meaning: fat of humans or animals
Figurative meaning: choicest or best parts

Ingredient: frankincense
Root word (in Hebrew): labownah
Literal meaning: white resin burned as fragrant incense
Figurative meaning: pure, without blemish

Can you see the characteristics of Christ in all the ingredients just described above?

If we are indeed, as 2 Corinthians 2:15 says: “For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing.”
This means we ooze of Christ – He is the Lion of Judah, the Son of God, His Most Beloved Son, pure and holy without blemish.
Yet he became a sacrifice, an offering for us, that we might also become children of God, that we might come boldly before the throne of God with the righteouness of Christ.
If only secular Christian religiosity and Roman Catholicism have not depicted priests as the essential interceding authority between God and his children, many Christians nowadays are not aware of their priesthood status, and not just priests, the Bible calls us, but ROYAL priests.
Because the Apostle Peter writes in 1 Peter 2:9: “But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.”
But there are some of you who may ask, why then do we not necessarily have favour with everyone?
Since according to what I’ve just described, we oozed of Christ, we are a walking fragrance of Christ. We always have this perfume called Christ splashed on ourselves.
For two reasons – one, that we constantly lose awareness or consciousness of our priestly status in Christ as mentioned above, and two, the Bible says, continuing from 2 Corinthians 2:15-16: “To the one we are the aroma of death leading to death, and to the other the aroma of life leading to life.”
In the New Living Translation, the same verse reads like this: “To those who are perishing we are a fearful smell of death and doom. But to those who are being saved we are a life-giving perfume.”
It’s the life of Christ in us, that is the life-giving perfume, which convicts sinners but gives life to those with a receiving heart.
For our Lord Jesus says in John 10:10: “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”

Blessed people, we exude Christ, we ooze Christ!

Because we have the life of Christ!!!

And it’s His life that gives us favour with all around us. It’s not magic nor supernatural. It’s Christo-natural! You shall find favour everywhere you go, blessed people, because you are constantly carrying the perfume of Christ as sons and daughters of God!!!

Hallelujah!!! Praise Him!!!

In His Fragrance,
weiwen

Run, Wee Boon, Run!!!

2005-01-17T21:14:00.000-08:00

I hate running.

Friends who have known me long enough all know that. You can ask me to play any kind of ball games, and run around the pitch or court or whatever for 2 hours, and I will gladly join you.

Ask me to go run 2.4 km? Sian ji bua (Hokkien for "bored by half") Oops...I think that's the best I can translate this. And I have a buddy from my university days who kept saying to me: "You continue like that sure fail IPPT one...Never exercise. Go and run la, for goodness' sake."

Well, fact is, he's right. I did fail my IPPT, and I had to go for RT.

Anyway, so today I suddenly felt a desire to go run. Don't ask me why. Maybe something inside my big fat lazy brain is waking up his idea.

Sigh, staring at the "United Nations" in front of me, it's not exactly a choice. And no, I didn't linger around and ask: "Is it God?"

I just changed into my gear and went. The dark clouds in the sky were not very encouraging but I made up my mind, and walked resolutely to the Bishan stadium.

On the way there, I just felt the desire to pray in tongues. Prayed for a while, and stopped. I actually missed the short-cut to the stadium. So I turned back, and suddenly, saw this wooden directional sign in front of me, in the shape of a cross. I don't know. These days I've been seeing crosses everywhere. Whether it's twigs on the ground, the lines between the square tiles in the toilet at the Overflow Room - just crosses everywhere.

Passing the wooden sign, I just said: "Thank you Jesus" under my breath.

Started doing my warm-up when I reached the stadium. And by the time I was done, it had started drizzling. But I decided to just run. And I was thinking to just complete 6 rounds and go home for dinner.

The rain got heavier as I ran but in a way, it was cooling too. I guessed it helped me sweat less. At the 5th round, I was thinking to myself: "I wonder if I can do 8 rounds...well, see how la".

By the time I came to the 6th round, I thought: "Lord, run with me. I don't think I can make it past the 6th round, not mentioning running 2 more rounds."

And you know what, I did manage to get past...and outrageously, after completing the 8th round, I felt inspired to run 2 more rounds. I just told God: "Run with me, Lord."

Amazingly, to my own astonishment, I did.

I ran 10 rounds!!!

I felt so elated after completing it. In fact while I was doing the warm-down, I felt I could go 2 more. I think I must be mad but that's how I felt at that point in time.

Well, I actually ran until the rain stopped. It might seem like nothing to others but to me, it was a mammoth task, an incredible accomplishment.

And I felt so fresh after that and I started praising the Lord on my way home, singing: "I press on towards the goal, I reach for the stars...That I may know You more, fulfil Your call on my life.....May Your hand always guide me, guide me to the very end."It was the greatest feeling in the world.

I felt so fresh.

And I felt so ya-ya that I ya-ya-ed to my friend about it. She said to me: "Angels must have carried me!"You know what, I do not doubt her words at all.

It had to be God.

There was no doubt in my mind after I was panting away after the 10 rounds. I hope this is the start of things to come. I'll have the stamina that is built up supernaturally!

Thank you Lord.

Shalom.

A Life of “Bo-chup-ness” is a Life of Rest

2005-01-15T11:03:00.000-08:00

I think in the wake of Pastor’s message on leading a “carefree, totally Bo-chup” life that question marks are ringing in some brothers and sisters.

“Can we really lead a bo-chup life? Is it possible? Is it even desirable to do that?”

I believe they are missing out on what Pastor is really saying, and what the Bible is saying in Luke 21:34: “But take heed to yourselves, lest your hearts be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness, and cares of this life, and that Day come on you unexpectedly.” (NKJV)

Does leading a bo-chup life means you just sit at home, shake leg, don’t go to work?

Does that mean you don’t study, because end-times liao mah, you think to yourself, what’s the point of studying anyway?

Does “bo-chup” means you don’t care?

NO!!!

What Pastor is saying is that all of us should have the revelation that in Christ, all things have been taken care of.

Why do we sing songs with lyrics like “I cast my cares before you, your peace shall reign in me…”

Why do we have verses in the Bible, Jesus’s words, that tell us: “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on.” (Matthew 6:25)

“Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature,” Jesus said. (Matthew 6:27)

When we lift up our hands and say: “Lord, we cast our fears, our doubts, our worries before you”, what are we doing?

What are we doing?

We are saying “Lord, you handle it, I can’t.”

Why, then, many a times, do we take those worries back with us when we have just told God five minutes ago that “Nah, help me Lord, that’s your problem.”

Then after the worship ends, and everyone walks out of the Rock auditorium, those same worries which we have just committed to the Lord, seeps back into our consciousness.
John 14:1 says “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me.”

It’s simply what you believe. When you were lifting your hands and crying till your eyes were swollen and your throats hoarse, and in that spiritual moment with God, you completely believed everything and anything.

The Lord wants you to know that everything has been taken care of - by Him.

Be restful. Keep that peace which you had with Him just now.

So we study in the knowledge that our results have been taken care of.

We work in the knowledge that our projects, our lesson plan will go according to plan; our promotions, career, success have been promised.

Jesus says in John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you: not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

When you have cried out all your worries to God, believe, therefore, that He has taken care of them. Because our God is one who even hears the slightest groans.

When God’s people were ill-treated with hard labour in the land of Egypt, their cries and groans reached the Heavenly Father. They didn’t even pray in proper words! Not even praying in tongues!

Today we have so many channels – praise and worship, praying in tongues, whatever works for you.

But at the end of it, know that YOUR cares have been taken care of.
Imagine yourself sitting down to dinner with your father or your mother or both. I don’t know if you do that because I’ve done this myself a lot of times. The waiter comes and serves you something you don’t like, say, asparagus or broccoli. What do you do automatically? You pick the asparagus from your plate and dump it on your parent’s plate. And you go: “Maaa, nah, I don’t like. You eat this.” It’s so natural.

Do you then take it back from them and try to bite and chew and then swallow it with your face looking like a kiam-gana? You don’t right? After we finish dumping those things we don’t like to eat, we happily chomp away the rest of the food, our hearts delighted.

That’s the same with our Abba Father. Eh, by the way, it’s rude to take back the food that you’ve just ‘dumped’ on someone else ok!

So there, our Heavenly Father does likewise, and you know what He does in addition, He empties His plate of good things – prosperity, health, peace, a new sports car, that Zara top, whatever blessings – from His plate to yours.

It’s really how much you dare to ask from Him. And what happens after you know that your cares are taken care of?

You rest.

Why can you rest? Because there’s no conflict, no problem, no worries.

You know in the Old Testament, God was so angry with the children of Israel that he swore that “they shall not enter my rest.”

Do you know something?

Today, God desires us to remain in His rest. To rest while He works everything in our lives.

Because Christ is in us, in our hearts.

He abides in us. He works through us. And He works for us.

When Jesus appeared to the church after He resurrected, the people were scared – terrified and frightened, the Bible says, as if “they had seen a spirit”. And the Lord Jesus said to them: “Why are you troubled? And why do doubts arise in your hearts?”

Notice the Lord asks “Why do doubts arise in your hearts?”
Why not your brain? Why not your mind?

Because that’s where your cerebral intelligence and your thoughts are, isn’t it?

But why your hearts?

Because your thoughts arise from desires in your hearts. Your heart is the one that sends signals to your gray cells, whether consciously or unconsciously.

And this peace that Jesus says He will give us, you know what, it’s a peace that “surpasses all understanding, and will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus”. (Philippians 4:7)

When the peace of God guards your hearts, your mind will not wander because it’s the hearts that produces cares in the brain, in the mind.

So the peace of God not only guards your heart, it also keeps your mind. The meaning of the root word “guard” and “keep” here is to “phroureo”, to protect against hostile invasion. When our hearts are at rest, filled with the peace of God, it is guarded, guarded from what?

From anxiety, cares, worries, temptations, any “fiery darts” that the Devil seeks to throw at us.

Today, Christ is the one who works in us, through us, for us.

And that rest in us prepares us for the things to come. The Bible says, continuing from Luke 21:34 which we saw earlier, that Jesus says in the next verse: “For it will come as a snare on all those who dwell on the face of the whole earth. Watch therefore, and pray always that you may be counted worthy to escape all these things that will come to pass, and to stand before the Son of Man.” (Luke 21:35-36)

You know something, just recently I was talking to a Christian friend of mine, who is not from our church. It was New Year’s Day and so I sent her a “Happy New Year” greeting through msn. You know what she replied? She said: “What’s there to be happy about?” I know immediately that she’s referring to the Asian Tsunami. I said to her: “Hey, but it’s the New Year. We can look forward because if the tsunami is a sign of the end-times approaching, then we are going to see Jesus soon.” She replied simply: “But are we prepared to see Him?” And then she quoted Matthew 24:40 to me and said: “Matthew says.... out of two in the field one will be lifted up into heaven. It says not all who calls upon the name of the Lord will enter into heaven. Have you been accountable for your actions and in your service to Him?” She’s trying to tell me about the rapture. I told her that the Apostle Paul made it so clear to us in the Book of Romans that Christ has justified us. But she insisted: “But that doesn't mean we can do anything we want without being accountable to God.. for the day of JUDGEMENT will come.”

By the way, I didn’t purposely type the letters “JUDGEMENT” in caps – I copied and pasted it exactly as it is.

Those of you who have attended last Thursday’s Bible Studies will know that Pastor taught on
the verse “Remember Lot’s wife.” (Luke 17:32)

And Pastor said that Lot’s wife, as is consistent in the Bible, the ‘wife’ refers to the church. And Lot’s name, in Hebrew, means “veil or covering”. And what did Lot’s wife do? She was escaping with her husband Lot from the city of Sodom because God has marked the city for destruction.

But Lot’s wife, while running away, turned back to look at the destruction and the raining of fire and brimstone from heaven. She turned back to look at God’s judgment.

Brothers and sisters, a veiled church will always focus on the JUDGEMENT that is to come with the second coming of Christ. And today, there are still Christians who are busy preparing themselves with good works to enter God’s Kingdom. And every time they are not prepared one. They always question you: "But are we prepared?"

And that is so sad.

Because Christ is so anxious to meet us, His bride – the church. But the bride is still asking: “But are we prepared? Judgment will come. We must be accountable.”

We are accountable because we are justified and we can enter the Kingdom of God not by ourselves but by Christ and the complete finished work He has done on the Cross.

And you know what, if you observe what Pastor has preached for the whole of 2004 and this year, you’ll notice that his messages mainly touch on rest and peace, and the complete totality of Christ’s works.

He preached on making Christ the centre of our lives in early January last year. Then he touched on the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus said: “Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your Heavenly Father feeds them…Therefore do not worry, saying “What shall we eat? What shall we drink….but seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6: 26-34)

Be conscious of Christ’s complete work, Christ in your life because He has qualified you, justified you and made you righteous.

Then Pastor stressed on leading a stress-free life and we can do that because we are too blessed to be stressed. He went on to say “Go with the peace, have the peace.” When someone curses you on the road, be at peace.

The peace of God, of Jesus, when he walked on Earth, amidst all the people, the noise, the incidents that happened around Him, He’s always at peace, always the sane one.
We all know we are in the end-times. Because that has been preached to us over the last ten years, no matter which church you attend.

But what’s the preparation? Is it by searching ourselves inside out, questioning ourselves whether, I quote from our dear friend earlier “Have you been accountable for your actions and in your service to Him?”

NO!!!

Because we already are – Christ has purchased our souls with His blood!!!

Then how? What are we supposed to do?

DUH!!! Cease doing.

Just rest, be at peace. God is working, Christ is working.

Our part is to rest in Him.

And Pastor has been preparing and is still preparing us for that.

Rejoice! Because we will not be apprehensive about the Day the Lord comes on us unexpectedly as Luke 21:34 says.

And shouldn’t we? Because a bride always has butterflies in her stomach as she waits with exceeding joy and anticipation for the bridegroom to arrive. And when He finally does, the bride gets up, rushes to the Bridegroom and kisses Him passionately.

Or does she still sit there combing her hair and wondering: “But are we prepared?”

Which one would you rather be?

Notes: I actually wanted to share this during caregroup yesterday (14 Jan 2005) but since we ended at about 10.20 pm. I thought it's better to just pen it down and spare my CG mates the torture...Hahaha...

"My Peace I Give To You, Not As The World Gives," says the Lord...

2005-01-06T02:01:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, the choir celebrated my birthday, or rather, I should say, the choir celebrated the birthdays of all the January babies. 13 January is my birthday.

It's also my last day with Singapore Airlines.

Come to think of it, it wasn't long ago when I received the letter that said "Welcome and we hope you will have a rewarding career with us..", something like that. This time, the letter read "I would like to thank you for your service and to wish you well for the future".

Okay, I think I'm writing in a very sad tone. I'm not sad actually.

Relieved is the word I should think. Though I've made some fantastic friends, I guess I never really did quite fit in. I've shared with a few brothers regarding some events that happened.

But that's not the main reasons why I chose to leave. I think the series of events that occured in the last two months, how everything so uncannily fits together, at least to me personally, made the picture clearer for me by the day.

I know and I know and I know that it's time.

I felt so much peace when I tended my resignation on Monday. And many people around me have been bombarding me with questions like "Why did you resign?", "What do you plan to do?", "Have you found a job yet?", "Do you have another offer somewhere else?" or "Why don't you wait until you have found another job?".

It's surprising how peaceful I felt that I told them all these questions do not bother me at all. I know it's against conventional wisdom but hey, God leads all of us with unconventional wisdom - it's his supernatural guidance that exposes fools who proclaimed themselves wise.

And I also notice that some of those questions mainly dealt with issues of monetary compensation - like "Why don't you stay longer, then the company can compensate you a full month's salary?" or "So will you get a bonus?"

I can't explain the feeling when I heard those questions.

I think basically because I felt nothing.

Just a calm, and knowing that God is my provider, Christ is my centre, and the Spirit is my leader.

The peace of Jesus - that he says "Peace I give to you, not as the world gives." - I guess that is the peace He is referring to.

Many of us started 2005 with different emotions. The events happening around the world has certainly not been a cause of wild celebration. I myself had a quiet New Year's Eve, no count-down, nothing.

I slept through it - till 11 am on New Year's Day.

But I know it's going to be a new beginning. A new lease of life. A year of divine favour that surrounds us like a shield everywhere we go. You know, it's such a wonderful feeling talking to the Lord and listening to Him reply.

Just a quick concise one - during the recent Christmas show at Orchard, I remembered it was the second night. We were singing and praising the Lord in the heart of Orchard Road. And I was priviledged to be serving Him in the choir. And the Lord's presence touched me during one song and I said, in my mind: "Lord, you're here!"And He said,"Yes I am, Son, yes I am." He's always with us because He's in us. He surrounds you and engulfs you totally.

A brother shared after choir yesterday about a Word he heard from the Lord. He said: "Do you know why you feel so 'shiok' when you are praising and worshipping?" It's like all systems go-ahead, a sense of release.Because God is all over you, around you, He engulfs you.

Imagine Him hugging you as you worship Him. (Okay, the last sentence is my own input. =Þ ). Another sister shared that whenever she started singing, she noticed her baby boy stop playing with his toys and start looking around the house. And she tried it a few times just to test. And it happens each time. It's the presence of God, and the baby boy knows. The boy felt Him, I will go even further and say that I believe the boy saw Him, and angels surrounding his mum. It's the awesome presence of God!

Last Sunday, another brother from choir shared this with me: "You know, personally, I believe that God is a 'sucker' for relationships. He desires to have a relationship and to communicate with you more than you can ever think of.

That's why He creates so many channels of communication - through His Word, through the Holy Spirit, through praise and worship, through speaking in tongues, through preachers, pastors, etc. "I truly believe that with all my heart. If you open your heart, He'll be there, He can't wait for you to do that.

Let me share this song with you that the Lord impressed on me while I was typing this.

Dance With Me
O...Lover of my soul...
To the song of all songs...
Romance Me
O...Lover of my soul...
To the song of all songs...
Behold You have come
Over the hills, upon the mountains...
To me You have run
My Beloved, You've captured my heart
Dance with me O...(Repeat)

With You I will go
You are my love,
You are my fair one,
Winter has passed...
And the springtime has come...

So everytime you sing this song, imagine yourself dancing with the Lord. Just enjoy His sweet sweet presence, let Him waltz you, let Him romance you. Truly truly spring-time has come. And Lord Jesus, I thank you. And I know 2005 is the year You will greatly manifest Yourselves more and more in our lives, and we will be transformed from glory to glory, bathed in divine supernatural abundant favor, that we may all be children of God overflowing with your blessings, and a blessing ourselves for others.

Shalom.

God's Revelations of Jesus to David through the prophet Nathan

2004-12-30T11:00:00.000-08:00

Hey blessed people,

I'm sure all of us have felt the "full force" of Pastor Prince's power after his return trip from Israel. I wished I could have gone to Israel but it's ok. I'll go next year, when I have the leave and the money to spare.

For those who missed last week's sermon, here's a brief re-cap.

Pastor shared that his greatest revelation from the Israel trip was that of how the Ark was being brought back to Jerusalem to the house of David. Basically, he started off from the story of Obed-edom and how David tried to bring the Ark back from the house of Obed-edom. While Pastor and the leaders were visiting on the hill of Kiriath-jearim, he asked the Israeli tour guide what "edom" meant in Hebrew, and the guide told him the root word of "edom" means blood or wine. And that's where Pastor caught the revelation.

The root word of "Obed" in Hebrew is "servant" and "edom" is "blood/wine". Put together, it means "servant of the blood". Now we know that while the Ark was left in the house of Obed-edom the Gittite (non-Jew) for three months, "the LORD blessed Obed-edom and all his household." (2 Samuel 6:11).

And then he went on to illustrate how David tried to bring the Ark back on the ox-cart, Uzzah was struck dead when he stretched out his hand to touch the ark as the oxen stumbles. Firstly, according to Levitan laws, the Ark is suuposed to be carried on poles on the shoulders of priests, and we are told that when the Ark rests on the shoulders, it becomes light and in fact directs the priests (Pause a moment and recall what Jesus meant when he said "My yoke is easy and my burden is light").

We know that under the new Convenant, Jesus represents our modern-day Ark, and truly He has blessed us all richly, exceedingly and abundantly. Pastor then drew a parallel between how when David sent his men to bring back the Ark of the Convenant, this time, on the shoulders of priests and every six steps, he sacrificed an ox and a fattened animal to the LORD (2 Samuel 6:13), and when our Lord Jesus entered Jerusalem, the city of David on a donkey. Pastor also drew a comparison between how David was dancing and leaping before the LORD and there was a multitude of people but his wife Michal despised his actions.

Then Pastor said:"Remember how when Jesus entered Jerusalem, the City of David, on a donkey, people were lining the streets, waving palm leaves and shouting "Hosanna Hosaana!!"(Mark 11:9-10), and who are the ones who are despising all these? They are the self-righteous, self-proclaimed "holy" people called Pharisees. And they asked Jesus to rebuke his disciples not to make so much noise and Jesus replied:"I tell you, if these were silent, the very stones would cry out!" Okay folks, you still there? Good...while Pastor was sharing all these, something hit me. Hey, isn't Obed-edom a Gentile, technically speaking, but the LORD blessed him and all his household (2 Sam 6:11) and the Ark was only there for three months.

Today we have the modern Ark, that's Jesus Christ, living inside us. Wouldn't we be blessed so much much more? And you know what, techically speaking, we are also the Gentiles, but by the grace of God, we have been brought into the house of David while the Israelites, the true sons and duaghters of David have rejected their Messiah and Saviour!

It's like a picture of modern day Israel but we believe that one day, Christ will once again enter the city of David just as King David brought the Ark back to Jerusalem. Hallelujah!!!

I'm not finished yet!

This morning I have a fresh revelation. To me, it was so powerful though perhaps some of you may have already known. (I'm the sua-ku one lor but I don't care). This is really powerful!!! Do you guys know that right after David brought the Ark back to Jerusalem, GOD actually preached the gospel to David and showed him Jesus and everything that was to come.

This came about because David had a desire to build a house for the LORD. But GOD answered David by revealing this vision to Nathan the prophet in 2 Samuel 7:12-16, saying:"When your days are fulfilled and you lie down with your fathers, I will raise up your offspring after you, who shall come from your body, and I will establish his kingdom. He shall build a house for my name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever. I will be to him a father, and he shall be to me a son. When he commits iniquity (Jesus did not commit iniquity but He bore ALL the iniquities of mankind that the world might be saved through Him), I will discipline him with the rod of men, with the stripes of the sons of men (remember Jesus's suffering on the cross and Isaiah 53:4-5), but my steadfast love will not depart from him...Your throne shall be established forever."

Then Nathan relayed all these to Daivd, and David understood.

David caught the revelation, and he saw everything clearly and he said to GOD:"You have spoken also of your servant's house for a great while to come, and this is instruction for mankind, O Lord GOD! And what more can David say of you?" (2 Samuel 7: 19-20)

In fact, David wasn't done in his prayer. He prayed further:"Because of your promise, and according to your heart, you have brought about all this greatness, to make your servant know it...blah blah blah (the words we have come to know in the hymn - there's no one else like you for you are great)...then David said:"For you, O LORD of hosts, the God of Israel have made this revelation to your servant...and David prayed for us when he said:"Now, therefore may it please you to BLESS THE HOUSE OF YOUR SERVANT, so that it may continue forever before you.

For you, O Lord GOD, have spoken, and with your blessing shall be the house of your servant be blessed forever." Hallelujah!!! You understand what all these means?

Rejoice! Today, we are the house of David!!! AND WE ARE BLESSED!!!Phew!!! That's quite a lot. I hope you have managed to 'tahan' to this end.

Hey, be blessed brothers and sisters! Becasue King David already saw the future in us today, how blessed we are!!! If you're interested, 2 Samuel talks about David's victories from 2 Sam, chapter 8 onwards, I pray that you have caught the flow.

Be blessed!!!

Cheers,
Weiwen

xtravagantworshipper

It still hurts...

The Most Embarassing Day(s) Of My Life

I Want To Sing

I Miss You

God is love

Jesus, My True Rest

Healing or Feeding?

Sojourn

Start Living

Anyway…Bon Appétit.

A New Creation – The Story of Naaman

The Water Flows!!!

Wahhh, if that’s the way God works ah, I think there’s no way I’m going to get my Lamborghini man!

Don’t talk about Lamborghini, I think Chery QQ also got problem!

But has Christ been offered up as our grain offering?

Has Christ, who was sinless, died for all our sins, that today, we enjoy the blessings that He died to give us?

Yes, so we do not have to resort to trying to twist God’s arm. As if Daddy God would be persuaded to withhold His blessings from us – He would more than be willing to give us.

But, hey, everytime we partake of the Holy Communion, we are bringing to our remembrance that Christ has been offered up as our sacrifice.

Today, whenever we need a miracle in our situation, be it at work, at home, relationships, etc, all we have to do is to bring Christ’s sacrifice to our remembrance (because obviously, Daddy God does not forget, though we like to think He does.)

You know what, then the water flows! Suddenly!

You don’t see the signs coming, you think “oh, nothing has changed…life’s the same…whine whine whine…Alas! God….tian ah!!!”

But hey, remember, you don’t see the wind, you don’t see the rain…but SO WHAT?

SO WHAT? THE WATER FLOWS!!! YOUR MIRACLE FLOWS!!!

Because Christ is our grain offering, and He has been offered up!!! Amen?

Or you can also see it this way. When you need a word from the Lord, regarding choices, or decisions you have to make it in your life, well, go to the Lord.

See our Lord Jesus Christ offered up as our grain offering. And SUDDENLY, the water - which also is a picture of the Holy Spirit, which comes by way of Edom [the blood] – starts to FLOW!!!

Hallelujah! Whichever way you see it, there’s no work on your part.

All you have to do is, behold the sacrifice on the Cross, our Lord Jesus Christ!!!

AND THE WATER FLOWS!!! HALLELUJAH! PRAISE HIM!

Amen?

Familiarity

Gideon and his servant

NCC Praise & Worship Nite 2006 @ Singapore Indoor Stadium

Boon'a Anatomy

Previously unpublished...

It’s never too late. It’s always good to be early.

畅 所 欲 言： 新 戏 哪 比 旧 戏 好？

My 27th Birthday Celebration wif my NTU Clique

A little late New Year greeting...

Give Thanks

Fall Afresh On Me

Rosh Hashanah

Praise Him!

More Than Words

Of Flu Bugs and Hungry Ghosts

Lost

Emotions...

On The Platform

扶梯

Let God Decide

Down at Your feet O Lord…

An Encounter with God? I really don't know...

“While you were sleeping… …”

In Your Presence...

The LOVE of God...is greater far...than tongue or pen can ever tell...

Hey Beloveds, BE-LOVED!!!

The Power of Three...And We're Not Referring To The Charmed Ones

The Story of an Indian family, some Arabs and the Fragrance of Christ and our Favour-filled Life!

Run, Wee Boon, Run!!!

A Life of “Bo-chup-ness” is a Life of Rest

"My Peace I Give To You, Not As The World Gives," says the Lord...

God's Revelations of Jesus to David through the prophet Nathan

畅所欲言：新戏哪比旧戏好？