Lost
It’s amazing how people will glue themselves in front of the telly at 10 pm every Thursday to watch the story of how the lives of 40 survivors from a plane unfold on a mysterious island that is supposed to be spooked. For the very simple reason, it becomes a drag after a while, when one by one, you go through each and every person’s tale but nothing happens. The story doesn’t build to a climax and nobody knows what the mystery on the island is all about. In other words, the suspense is becoming suspended in thin air – much like Desperate Housewives. After a while, who cares who killed Mary Alice Young, for those who fervently follow the show, like how I used to at the beginning.
Well I guess, people are still hanging on to being ‘Lost’ because it’s not so much about being physically marooned on an island. As you can see, the idea of the producers weaving flashbacks of the survivors’ stories prior to their plane crash, relates to the sense of being ‘lost’ in their lives. The characters in the story have all either lost direction, some have lost faith, some lost hope, some lost their loved ones – essentially all of them lost a sense of direction. I guess many of us glue ourselves to the telly because we are not only intrigued by what-the-hell is the spook of the much-talked about “them” and the whispers and the polar bears but it’s about trying to catch some direction in our lives, to receive our own portion from the show.
A dear brother once described the experience of being lost as a little boy, and what you should do. He said, you should do nothing, stand still, so that you can be found. This is very different from the conventions of the world. The first instinct is – let’s try to find a way to get out of the island. So you try to send signals, you try to build a bon-fire, you end up bickering and punching other people. Or you can even build a golf course to try and alleviate your pain and anxiety, and try to put the problem aside. Sounds familiar? Well, the world is getting a dose of “doing” from the show “Lost”. It’s always “we have to do this”, “you have to do that”, “if not…this this this”.
This brother also shared that the reason you stand still is because, then it makes searching for you easier because your parents will recall where they last left you. You see, many times, we also slip into the “do this do that” mode. I’m guilty of it as well. But we forget that we are always in the arms of the Father. How can we ever be lost? Yes, we can. When we forget that we are in the hands of the Father, when we choose to focus on what we can do by our own efforts, when we choose to place our trust in ourselves and not in Him.
So what am I trying to say here? Definitely not asking you to stop watching “Lost” because I do agree it’s a pretty good show. But know that, sometimes we meet difficulties in our lives, myself included, but it’s how and where we choose to focus on. I’m still learning to do that myself. If you feel “lost”, very simple, it’s a mere change of mindset, renewing of the mind. Just turn to our Abba, He’s always there. How can He not be? When a little child feels sad or starts to cry or scream, what do you think his or her father would do? Leave him or her alone? I know some of you may have such parents. But believe me when I say, 99 per cent of parents love their children. Just that some of them may not know how to show that love appropriately. In the same way, know that you are the darling princess or beloved prince of our Abba Father. He is not an Almighty God who sits on His mighty mighty shiny throne and carries a sceptre, ready to roast you with lightning and thunder the moment you make a mistake. Of course NOT!!! He will rush to your bed when you are screaming from a nightmare. He will carry you in your arms when you are crying. That’s what an Abba does. That’s why we call Him Father. He’s not Jade Emperor or the silent Buddha. He speaks to you, He cuddles you, He hugs you with His loving touches.
I know some of you, those who read my previous posting, may wonder at the complete 360 degree change in my attitude. Well, it’s not that I became a different person overnight, or that I’m trying to sound hypocritical. But I realise that I have turned my eyes away from Him. Rather than just rest in Him, I indulge in my own emotions. Yes, that part of me still remains, but I choose now to cast everything to Him. I don’t want to be stuck, like the UK band U2 says, “in a moment”. I want to be “stuck in God”. I want to tell Daddy: I can’t handle it, Abba, you take it from me.
So hey there, all of us go through ups and downs. But you know what, knowing that there’s always someone out there on your side, ready to shower you with loving kindness, that’s the reason we can get out of “Lost” mode, and enjoy piggy-backing on His back. Let the world take care of their problems. Yourself? You have the Father to take care of you. Remember this, if Abba is for you, nothing can be against you! NOTHING! NOBODY! ZERO! Diseases die on their own, demons and evil spirits flee at the sight of you (I’m sure you don’t want to be popular among them as well), and best of all, blessings run after you, and the Bible says, overtakes you.
So rejoice! Even if you feel lost about finding a job, or in your line of work, or in your boy-girl relationships or with your spouse, or with your school work, or in relationships with your parents. Always remember who you are in Christ, brothers and sisters, you are the son or daughter of our Abba Father. If He is the King of Kings, then we are the Princes of Princes and Princesses of Princesses!!! Amen? *winks*
Emotions...
Am I such an emotional wreck? I don't know. I want to trust in God that His favors are on me and blessings are mine. But sometimes it's just so difficult when you know you have bitches for clients and I don't know where these people come from - from the pit of hell perhaps.
Many a times, I have cried during praise and worship, thinking how it had all turned out like that. Perhaps the reality of the industry I'm in has sort of dawned on me. I cannot complain about my colleagues - they are a cool bunch of people. Well, I shared with a sister at length about what I'm facing at work. She gave me some very good advice from her experiences of dealing and handling clients.
I was really very encouraged by what she shared. But when Monday comes, and I open my Inbox and see those e-mails from that particular alien, (I think let's stick to this word before I lose control of myself and start hurling expletives). Sigh, I feel at a loss, somehow, I don't know why something which I approach with a passion - writing - somehow, back-fired on me in such a way.
I think these are the times you really hope the rapture happens tomorrow you know. But I know it's a very selfish thought because I still want my parents to receive Christ first. And other times, you just immerse yourself in nostalgia and think of those times when you are still an undergraduate, and don't have to deal with people from the world, no politics, no mud-slinging, no professionalism, nothing - just do what you like, do what you want, I mean, just studying for exams and doing assignments. What can be more easy than that?
Anyway, I haven't really let off steam like that for a long time, I guess, writing this down sort of makes me feel better, it's what the scientists call 'catharsis' - you let off steam. Sometimes you just wish bad things happen to people who are bad. And of course that refers to the persons who are causing you so much hurt, pain or distress. I know it's not biblical. It's just a passing thought, sometimes it lingers around. I'm trying to be real here, don't you guys ever think that way? Well, maybe it's just me.
Right now? I'm just feeling demoralised. I feel so useless, helpless.
On The Platform
It’s been a wonderful privilege to serve in choir – such an awesome and dynamic ministry, and knowing that on the platform, all it matters is Jesus Himself. He is the heart of worship, and it’s all about Him that we praise and worship.
These few weeks have been a bit rough for me in terms of work, and I’m really facing a bit of depression, stress and frustrations at work, not with my colleagues of course but with my clients. I have shared at length with some brothers and sisters-in-Christ about this, and really appreciate their encouragement during these times of need.
Having said that, there are many things I see while praise and worship, not that I’m not concentrating on the worship. But you can’t possibly keep your eyes closed all the time, can you? I have to look at the conductor’s hand signals, and yes, I do try to smile my broadest and make eye contact with the congregation.
Sometimes, there are moments you see that brings you to tears, that excites me, that encourages me. For example, I will always remember this Caucasian lady who is so enthusiastic about praise and worship. She always attends the 4th service, to my knowledge of having seen her time and again in that same position in the Rock auditorium. Just seeing her puts a smile on my face even though sometimes I do feel the lethargy at the end of a Sunday.
Two weeks back, I saw another ‘picture’ that just unleashed my water taps again. I can’t remember the songs we were singing. But I saw this lady; she’s quite lanky, with long hair. From the way she worships, you know that she can’t speak. Because she was gesturing with her hands in an exaggerated manner as she sings the songs, as how a person who can’t speak would communicate. But it’s the expression on her face as well. Head lifted up all the time, eyes closed, very focused, mouth opening and closing though you know that no words can be heard. But she’s lifting her hands, gesturing in praise and exaltation. It just struck a chord in my heart, and tears just flowed.
You know, deep down, I know that even though she can’t speak, her praise and worship is probably the loudest in the ears of our Heavenly Father. And I know Abba delights in her praises. Abba delights in her worship. It just makes you want to sing even louder, with more energy, with more exuberance, seeing this lady worship.
How many of us stand in His presence during praise and worship, and even if we can speak, choose to mumble or sing softly? How many of us actually bothered to sing praises and worship Him with all that whole-heartedness, like this lady, during worship?
I’m not condemning anyone here; I just feel so touched by the picture of this lady worshipping, and I want to praise Him more! I see the glory of God through this lady!
So lift up your voices, O barren one, or you who are heavily burdened, and sing praises to Him! And let His love just embrace you right there where you are standing, in praise and worship! Hallelujah!!!
扶梯
笔：维文
想想，开始这份新的工作也快要三个月了。刚开始真的很感谢神，我能够从事自己喜欢做的事，也就是写作。虽然性质不同，但总的来说，还算不错。也许是这几个星期成了“都市夜归人”，也碰到了几个难搞的客户，所以心情沉重了些。
清早搭乘地铁上班，难免得转换搭乘东北线。我每天都照常地会在多美歌地铁站转车。我想大家都知道，要转搭东北线列车，必须走一段路，才能抵达东北线的越台，途中你可选择用平面电动扶梯带步而行。奇怪的是，每次走向扶梯时，心里总会产生某种难以形容的矛盾-该搭或不搭。我知道你在想什么-这算什么大事，何须杞人忧天？我也常问自己。最近我终于找到了答案。
早上的人潮真的恐怖极了，人们不是争先恐后，就是你推我挤，也是为什么有时候真地很抗拒搭扶梯的感觉。总觉得好像有一股力量在催逼着自己，若停下来，好像有点儿‘搞破坏’似的，好像跟不上步伐，又好像是个像征性的示威或暗自的抗议。我不走了，我选择停下来，不管你们的眼光有多凶邢扼杀，不管你们多赶时间。我决定与时间发动战争，我掌握时间，不让时间掌握我。列车跑了，就等下一趟好了。
于是我决定停下来，其实这个动作本该理所当然!不然设有平面电动扶梯来干嘛？不就是让乘客能歇歇脚吗？新加坡人可不是这样想的，有的加快脚步，有的索性跑过扶梯。我累了，停下来好吗？应该不奇怪嘛！你们怎么用这样的眼光凝视着我？我破坏了你们上班的规律吗？
走在闹市的街头，人潮汹涌，与身边插肩而过的人已经数不清了。在一霎时，那段在“平面电动扶梯”插身而过的人，以更快的速度飞身而去。是我走得太慢，还是他门走得太快？我选择停下来。不走了，可否让我休息三十秒？
